Die Veal Man!

this song is basic as FUCK and does not deserve a creepy vid.

"I'll take... two meats," she says finally.

They should show this before teen films and in sex-ed classes. The abstinence only folks should love this since sex=gruesome death.

Oooooh, that pissed me off. For starters, Amelie wasn't an UNREPENTANTLY AWFUL PERSON.

YOU LEAVE THAT BEEF ALONE, LEVINE!

or enamel diva...

There's a song in that...

I am too and I hate myself for it—I HATE myself.

Ew...just ew...

Adam Levine is am anagram of "valid enema".

Adam Levine is a health code violation.

What the HOLY HELL? Is this co-produced by PETA and Patrick Bateman or something? I think my brain needs a shower. Or one of those memory eraser pills from Eternal Sunshine. EW. EW FOREVER.

Serial killer/sexual predator behavior makes me so fucking HAWT, y'all. I only know man loves me by the level of his stalking.

Dexter: All the Poor Writing, None of the Good Acting.

I think he's actually auditioning for a Dexter reboot.

THIS IS HORRIBLE!

1. Not nearly as disturbing as Robbie Williams' video for "Rock DJ."
2. Can't wait for the Mark Shrayber article where he tricks his boyfriend into watching it.

In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offenses are considered especially heinous.

Here he is, everyone, your Sexiest Man Alive in his audition for True Blood. Too bad no one told him it's no longer airing.