thanks, my niece is awesome...she's like a little brown haired Leslie knope

The people that work in the produce department know to be on the lookout for banana spiders.

We all think this video is cute now, but I heard that right after they stopped recording he asked the baby for $17000 for his failed blog convention...

Allow me to translate,

Marginally talented pop tarts bickering?

HA! Apparently it is a common thing in the animal kingdom.

He just wants to be friends!

The person that made that meme is nuts. I'd totally live there. I'd creep past the windows in a long, tatty Mrs. Havisham gown.

this is an appropriate time to share that a month or so ago, I was innocently peeing, and for some reason, looked down at the piece of toilet paper I was about to rub on my lady business. And there was a spider on it, chilling out, living in my toilet paper.

that shit's bananas. b-a-n-a-n-a-s!

I was trying to prevent diabeetus.

I am going to really inspect my fruit and veggies at the store from now on, and of course if I find something I'll burn the store down as experts have recommended.

My completely calm and well-reasoned reaction.

Spiders.........eek!

Well when you say it like that it totally makes sense that she'd be a total bitch. There's no way she didn't pick up some tips from the master.

It is said that when the full harvest moon rises and the Pumpkin Spice Latte debuts too early, two young pop stars shall enter a blood feud that neither shall exit 'til one is either dead or forbidden from donning a bejeweled onesie until her 100th name day.

"She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, 'Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?'"