“[Tyreek Hill] is so small and black, if you squeeze him really hard he’ll turn into a diamond”

Except for the racism, sure

Anyway, $10 says Smith will be writing for Barstool in a few weeks.

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

I agree that the person who should be most offended by all of this is Tommy John

“But how many views did the post get?”

You know, I used to read a lot of stuff over at SBN when Spencer Hall, Jon Bois, and Matt Ufford, were there. Now, it’s just a bunch of rehashed lukewarm crap over and over again. Their comment section has always been a dumpster fire, so that’s still exactly the same.  Kinda sad to see they’re going the way of…

Also, Tommy John only ever hurt his arm once, and the surgical procedure named after him heals arms.

The only thing I hate more than people over reacting to real satire is people using fake satire as an excuse to be racist.

For the love of God, put a damn age cap on public office that you can’t seek election/re-election after the age of like 75. (I’d be in favor of 70 tbqh to eliminate any more Trump type scenarios where the dementia sets in earlier)

Joe Biden is only running because Trump was a backlash to Obama (a ‘blacklash’ if you will), and he cynically thinks the only thing the country will accept is “another rich old white guy”

You may be right. I’ll be honest, I really don’t bother listening to much of anything he says anymore because there’s no point to it.  He runs his mouth all day every day with little in the way of follow-through.

How neither the moderators nor any of the candidates have not brought up his work for predatory lending and credit card companies for decades yet at a single debate is beyond me. He would sink so fast.

Will? Already are. I’m constantly squeezed in my career between boomers that won’t/can’t retire and millennials who think I’m just not doing my work with the right “innovation.”

It’s crazy. The teachers are [unintelligible]—I’m married to a teacher. My deceased wife is a teacher.

More like a dumpster full of skull juice.

“To defeat a Doddering Old Mummy with a Skull Full of Dumpster Juice, you must send another Doddering Old Mummy with a Skull Full of Dumpster Juice”

Hearing all the post-debate analysis of “everyone was mean to poor old Diamond Joe” made me think you may have been right about that whole dissolving-the-United-States thing.

in much the same way that the Packers/Bears season opener was exactly what the NFL deserved, the Biden-Trump debates are exactly what this country deserves

Stephen Miller can’t start his day until that first skull full of dumpster juice kicks in.