GOD I LOVE HIM.

*speechless*

I'm more concerned about those heels than the skirts. Have you ever tried to run in heels? It's IMPOSSIBLE.

Super skinny guys are my kryptonite. Beefiness is overrated.

In regards to the polenta story, I once worked with someone who kept telling our customers that the special was ratatouille and placenta, because he didn't know the difference.

I was wondering why the special wasn't selling.

Discreet? Just put on your big girl panties and buy a normal freaking vibrator already! I mean, my god! That thing is terrifying. I would be way more freaked out upon realizing that that thing was a sex toy than seeing even the most obscene looking made-in-China-so-it-has-a-face vibrator.

Edit: I give a pass to folks…

Yeeaaaaah. I can't believe this is actually a thing, and I'm usually pretty cool with kinky sex stuff. It's just. . . why??

LOL. That was AMAZING! Fucking delightful.

Let's just go with a standard service charge and be done with it. There is way too much bullshit wrapped up in a "tip". People are awful.

I need to hug you. Would that be okay?

Ughhhhhhh. Why?? Why would you do that to yourself? D: I used to want to be a doctor, until I hit double digits and realized how gross people are.

That was beautiful.

This is the most apathetic table flip I have ever seen.

I love your screen name! <3's

I gather that the quality of care is somewhat less than you can receive in the United States. That said, healthcare in the United States is painfully expensive. Healthcare debt is the most common reason for bankruptcy here. Quite simply, only those who can afford high quality care get it. Everyone else only goes to…

So, this one time, my friends and I decide to take some powdered "mescaline." In retrospect, this probably wasn't mescaline. We ended up calling it the "research chemical."

Anyway, I am not sure why I reacted so powerfully to it while my friends didn't. I mean, they were definitely high, but I was in deep fucking…

"'Romance! Let's do this!'" I fucking lost it at that! All the hearts and stars for you!

I thought my kinky loverboy story was good, but you two blew it out of the water! He did buy me flowers, though, for the latex fuck-fest I asked him to join me in.

Ahhhhh, love!

I don't care what anyone says, this fucking outfit is mind-blowingly badass.

This happened to me on Memorial Day. And yes, I am a huge fucking dork.

<3's