This may be the best article I’ve ever read

My daughter died in 2011 when she was five from a malignant brain tumor.

"Hey, girl. You must be an angel because the last 11,375 women I asked were not actually angels the law of averages has to come into play at some point."

Don't be a jerk.

Before I deleted my account I would always ask women the same thing: "So do you want to hear a ridiculous pick-up line or should we skip the awkward stuff."

so with that first picture, I gotta ask, did they manage to make him pee in his sleep?

why are you here

Oh, Greg Howard. You sweet, sweet, stupid man. You are confusing packaging with content. Yes, rhinos look tough and hippos look fat. But facts: that "sword" on rhinos' head? Its made of keratin - just like hair! Its just a dense ponytail! When my son was 8, he hand fed a rhino bok choy. You know who eats bok…

Kyle.

What about poop?

Gotta hand it to Tom, he really got out on a limb.

His abusive relationship with black and grizzly bears.

Only in the breast cancer awareness edition version. It's just the government's way to say tanks thanks...

A very serious oversight.

A list of lasers! You must have trouble dodging all the panties thrown at you!

I noticed a flaw in his technique. You have to knock first, then you shoot your target through the door. Shooting and then knocking just makes you look stupid.

That'll teach me to have unfounded preconceptions.

that they're not bigger or claw-ier?