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RIP Lil' Sebastian
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If your small talk consists of guessing colleagues’ bra sizes, I suggest reading a book, or catching up on a good show via Netflix. Both of those offer a wealth of opportunities for small talk conversations that won’t get you fired.

This is my fiance’s, but here goes.

I think you may have replied to the wrong person. I’m explaining you can’t talk about your coworkers’ genitals on company time.

I guess on the positive side, people who don’t understand the basic concept of harassment keep me employed. Although I’d rather be unemployed and have people be decent to each other.

You mean you haven’t walked up to your boss and told her what you think the secretary’s dick size is? Well! You just must be prude and no fun!! /s

I am the great boogeyman that is HR. And if you’re having conversations about your coworkers and associates like the one above, I guarantee you’ve been reported, or will be in your career (or end up in an article like this one). Uncomfortable laughter or a quick change of subject is not validation that your poor

If you’re on the work clock, it’s not private time. Doesn’t matter if you’re in the work bathroom, debating what size a coworker or work associate’s boobs or dicks are is not appropriate on the work clock.

A couple of my doctor friends told me that about 25% of people who graduate from medical school enjoy practicing medicine and want to make the world a healthier place and should be doctors. The other 75% just had enough time/tenacity/money to get through it, and are interested in the prestige or money or control it

Sheriff Sean Smith: Yeah, those boys were real unprofessional...but I gotta know, are they double Ds or not?

I’m having a pepperoni Hot Pocket for lunch, and I was sing-songing the name in a Jim Gaffigan voice while it rotated in the microwave.

Kanye, I have been listening to your old albums and it has re-ignited my love for you. However, I kinda feel like if you rent out a stadium and hire an orchestra for your proposal, you never really wanted it to be private in the first place...

Apparently he was an ass on set and said that he wouldn’t do IM2 unless he was paid more than RDJ...the guy playing the titular character...

I don’t think Tom and Rita would be horrified if Chet Haze disappeared...more like relieved.

Working for a land conservation nonprofit and partnering with the land management agencies, you would not believe the complaints people have. My favorite was the gentleman who repeatedly called, demanding to know what our plan was to stop the earthquakes in the region.

I hate people who give you something they want for your birthday.

Maybe it’s because “Take Care” is one of my favorite songs, but I was hoping he and Rihanna would eventually get back together.

I think we have found the exact stereotype-in-the-flesh we all assumed was on Ashley Madison.

I flush the wad of hair from my brush because of that episode.