LIFE isn't as 'Sex and the City' as I thought it would be...where can I move?

I think the frustrating thing about Rihanna and Chris Brown is that she has a team of people around her, and no one is willing to just lock her in a closet til she gains some sense for fear of stopping the gravy train. It's easier to say yes than to be a real manager/friend/assistant and speak up. I'm pissed that…

My favorite thing is when people say "I don't believe in queers/blacks getting welfare/religious freedom/the Constitution/anti-pot laws." Because your belief makes something real.

It's like a legal battle between two high school mean girls.

I think the issue (at least in my readings) was that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, Lady Gaga should be able to wake you up or interrupt your dinner or yank you out of the bath to move her shit around, while paying you for a forty hour workweek that was never scheduled, and may be from 2 am-5 am, then 9 am-11 am, then…

Jesus, who has that shit around their house? I'm scared that pickle will come to life at night and hurt me.

From what I understand, it's one of those weird state v. fed things - the federal law says it's legal, but Alabama law says it's not, just like marijuana is legal in certain states but not federally. Therefore, certain courts and law agencies will pursue while others will not.

The bf and I had the best NYE ever - we were both sick so we just drank Robotussin and built Legos all night.

http://youtu.be/ I was going to write a rant about how I could've been dressed like a nun and it wouldn't have been good enough, but instead I will share with you this wonderful Donald Glover piece.

Stoned 'American Dad' viewers UNITE!!

I have a sister 18 months older than me and a brother 20 months younger. I can't believe my mom didn't go crazy - my dad worked 60 hour weeks, and there was no family in town to help out. She is Superwoman.

It's so sad, it sounds like he's more of a babysitter than a lover every time I read the stories about them. Jesus, let her buy the lotion with her billions of dollars, and just fucking donate it next week. Everyone wins - she gets to spend her money harmlessly as she pleases, and poor people get moisturized. She…

Does anyone else have the urge to cut out celebrity heads and hairstyles and play paper dolls? Because that is totally what I need to do immediately.

Eyelids, cheek implants, nose job, and chin implant, after looking at the pictures.

I need disco fries to feel better.

I can't tell which procedures, other than a nosejob, she has had since she was on "Couples Therapy," but her actual eye-shape looks different. I think they did something with her jawline too.

One of the strippers was hit in the eye with a bill, and filed charges. I'm assuming it was folded into a little football shape or something for launching, since I can't figure out how a loose bill which kinda flutters could cut someone in the eye.

Screw you, Michigan, you just ruined my high!!!

While some probably fall prey to bad money handling, I'm betting a lot of celebrities try to take money under the table or not through their business manager for appearances and sponsorships, so they don't have to dole out the 15% agent fee, 5% accountant fee, etc, then get checked up on after years of doing this.

Also, let's be honest, Kim is soon to be usurped by Khloe, who is quickly becoming more bankable. CREAMomma Kardashian.