So, does that mean since I'm the larger sister, I'm the future queen? I can live with that.

If I were married to Channing Tatum, he would do nothing but dance for me, since there was far too much good movie and far too little stripping in "Magic Mike." HE OWES ME.

Alright, but I still have exclusive rights to the slutty Halloween 2013 costume.

Wow, I completely misread BEE's tweet - I thought he was saying people were saying she was overrated because she was a woman, whereas a man would be called fairly interesting. I am glad Damon Lindelof straightened it out for me.

Dawson - know your place, and that is next to that goddamn creek making a weepy face. ACCEPT IT.

Randi: Tracy tells me that you're, you know, the village bicycle.

I have been watching too much 'Real Housewives', because I thought, Hmmm...good diet idea, living on $30 a week.

Damn, I thought Wand Erection was Channing Tatum's new nickname.

When I read the books, he played Finnick in my head. I am so mad it won't happen outside my brain.

EXACTLY. There is no way that every single person that approved the script, the budget, the final cut said, "Masterpiece - Lindsay Lohan as Lindsay Lohan playing Liz Taylor for 45 seconds at a time!" They knew it would be way more popular as an epic flop everyone loved to hate-watch than a decent Lifetime movie.

But the real question is, who will be doing the soundtrack?

Dear Justin,

I know! My friend and I kept asking each other whether this was fact or 'loosely based on true events'. Because they were TERRIBLE.

That sums it up perfectly - porn-acting without the sex.

I actually am convinced this was made as campy as possible - no scene longer than 90 second, horribly quotable dialogue, thick overdone cat eye liner on Lindsay the whole time, the only thing missing was Tori Spelling. They "Producers"ed it - knowing it would be way more famous as an epic flop than a top Lifetime…

My mouth was open the whole time and I was just making these odd, delighted huffing noises at my friend. I need to revisit that on Youtube, stat.

I lost it - "WASN'T SHE STRIPPING? WHY ARE THE CHILDREN LEARNING THE STRIPPING DANCE?? THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" and then laughed so hard I snorted chocolate wine out of my nose.

I watched with only chocolate wine and marshmallow vodka the first time, and am looking forward to a second viewing with my bong.

I love how everyone in the movie has an off-and-on Madonna British accent.

I like at the end when they're doing them - I turned to my friend and asked, "are they narrating from heaven?"