Does anyone else have the urge to cut out celebrity heads and hairstyles and play paper dolls? Because that is totally what I need to do immediately.

Eyelids, cheek implants, nose job, and chin implant, after looking at the pictures.

I need disco fries to feel better.

I can't tell which procedures, other than a nosejob, she has had since she was on "Couples Therapy," but her actual eye-shape looks different. I think they did something with her jawline too.

One of the strippers was hit in the eye with a bill, and filed charges. I'm assuming it was folded into a little football shape or something for launching, since I can't figure out how a loose bill which kinda flutters could cut someone in the eye.

Screw you, Michigan, you just ruined my high!!!

While some probably fall prey to bad money handling, I'm betting a lot of celebrities try to take money under the table or not through their business manager for appearances and sponsorships, so they don't have to dole out the 15% agent fee, 5% accountant fee, etc, then get checked up on after years of doing this.

Also, let's be honest, Kim is soon to be usurped by Khloe, who is quickly becoming more bankable. CREAMomma Kardashian.

So, does that mean since I'm the larger sister, I'm the future queen? I can live with that.

If I were married to Channing Tatum, he would do nothing but dance for me, since there was far too much good movie and far too little stripping in "Magic Mike." HE OWES ME.

Alright, but I still have exclusive rights to the slutty Halloween 2013 costume.

Wow, I completely misread BEE's tweet - I thought he was saying people were saying she was overrated because she was a woman, whereas a man would be called fairly interesting. I am glad Damon Lindelof straightened it out for me.

Dawson - know your place, and that is next to that goddamn creek making a weepy face. ACCEPT IT.

Randi: Tracy tells me that you're, you know, the village bicycle.

I have been watching too much 'Real Housewives', because I thought, Hmmm...good diet idea, living on $30 a week.

Damn, I thought Wand Erection was Channing Tatum's new nickname.

When I read the books, he played Finnick in my head. I am so mad it won't happen outside my brain.

EXACTLY. There is no way that every single person that approved the script, the budget, the final cut said, "Masterpiece - Lindsay Lohan as Lindsay Lohan playing Liz Taylor for 45 seconds at a time!" They knew it would be way more popular as an epic flop everyone loved to hate-watch than a decent Lifetime movie.

But the real question is, who will be doing the soundtrack?

Dear Justin,