I know! My friend and I kept asking each other whether this was fact or 'loosely based on true events'. Because they were TERRIBLE.

That sums it up perfectly - porn-acting without the sex.

I actually am convinced this was made as campy as possible - no scene longer than 90 second, horribly quotable dialogue, thick overdone cat eye liner on Lindsay the whole time, the only thing missing was Tori Spelling. They "Producers"ed it - knowing it would be way more famous as an epic flop than a top Lifetime…

My mouth was open the whole time and I was just making these odd, delighted huffing noises at my friend. I need to revisit that on Youtube, stat.

I lost it - "WASN'T SHE STRIPPING? WHY ARE THE CHILDREN LEARNING THE STRIPPING DANCE?? THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" and then laughed so hard I snorted chocolate wine out of my nose.

I watched with only chocolate wine and marshmallow vodka the first time, and am looking forward to a second viewing with my bong.

I love how everyone in the movie has an off-and-on Madonna British accent.

I like at the end when they're doing them - I turned to my friend and asked, "are they narrating from heaven?"

That 'Catching Fire' poster was a whole lotta letdown. I debated whether to click, because I didn't know if it would tell me too much about the movie (despite reading the book), and then it was just her pin burning for thirty seconds. FROWNY FACE.

The all-honey dew diet reminds me of this Jenna Maroney quote: "All this attention, getting my picture taken, having ice cold diarrhea from drinking too much Jamba Juice!"

Anyone who plays pick-up kickball with strangers and takes a picture with them is an alright celebrity in my eyes - http://www.eonline.com/news/354267/bill-murray-crashes-new-york-kickball-game.

...why? Why is there an extended cut of Justin Bieber grabbing at his own crotch?

I am so glad I wasn't the only one to get a fluttery feeling in my stomach reading his food description. You cook that burger, you cook that burger like a bad, bad boy. While you sing "Ladies of Tampa."

Pssh, I already learned that this summer while watching "Prometheus."

The lack of new "Carmen Sandiego" episodes is what's wrong with kids these days.

The weird thing about the whole Suri-Tom Cruise-abandonment story is he hasn't been photographed with her in almost three months. I'm not saying he hasn't seen her and not been papped, but why not say so?

"You know we're LIVING in a SOCIETY!"

Everything looks stiff - not one of those chairs looks comfortable. It's modern-evil-Disney-queen elegant and cold.

I buy the sweaters really big so they're long enough, and then hem them up the center to make them semi-fit.

My mom bought an extra set of turkey legs a few years ago and arranged and cooked them with the full bird, and declared she had found a turkey with four legs. My brother refused to eat any of them, even after my mom told him the truth.