When did Jezebel...get so...attached...to things that aren't news?

If Hollywood was like Mean Girls everyone one of these people would be at my table.

But...why? Munchy eating is so joyous.

"It's sexy because two beautiful girls are softer, more sensuous, slower and also sort of educational."

When I was in middle school I ran into the ceiling.

Of COURSE he likes jazz.

#teamrosie

Expand that to all of Brooklyn. Look I have no problem with children nor with parents of children. But like when the restaurant you are in is highly encouraging drunk rivalry I have 0 time to be parented by you because you chose said venue. Hey if you want your baby around loud brunchers and don't give a fuck. Well I…

NOPE NO NO NO NAH NOPE TO THE NAH NAH.

I really. Do not understand. Team. Cat.

Doesn't Mass. have some crazy stat of "highest amount of educated people" due to the bagillion colleges?

This will come as NO surprise to anyone whose ever ridden a Chinatown bus. Which essentially double as vehicles of food transport.

The Pee Wee Herman beat is what REALLY REALLY slays me.

How did the hell fire that is FIREBALL not make this list. It's like all Pitbull wants in life is to played at every Bar Mitzvah.

Who WASTED their time in the glory that is Michelle Obama asking her where ANYTHING was at Target.

I watched GG as a youth and fell off around season 6. I just attempted again via Netflix and the same thing happened. I have no need to know what happens to Rory and the WASPiest boy alive. Nor if Loralie finally has a heart attack whilst sipping her last cup of coffee and waxing poetic about some cultural reference…

Honestly I'd watch Parks & Rec set in the past, present, or future.

I agree that it could have been worse. And do think that there was AT LEAST room for discussion. But when the target audience is clearly straight men, I do feel like much more of it was played up as a pansy bottom.

Pause.

2014 can you just end. Now. Please.