My ring is made out of organically-grown, free-range lentils and the artisans who made it actually paid me to take it off their hands.

He was guest hosting/hanging out/making bad jokes. Plus I think ABC recently installed this outdoor shower and they're trying to get the most bang for their buck.

She's kind Don Johnson in a wig.

If Dakota can't...

No, really not. He isn't a "conservative" and he doesn't present a "conservative face." He is, still, however, the head of the Catholic Church and despite the belief of so many people, he can't just single-handedly change things.

Your assessment of these types of interviews is dead on! David Sedaris has a similar passage in one of this stories where he's talking about reading these as a kid. It always leaves me in stitches.

Vivien Leigh could've generated chemistry with a MARBLE STATUE, come on

My most favoritist thing about Cincinnati is that, like, no one recognizes me. I can go buy Kroger-brand peanut butter and it's really.....cool.

She does deserve credit for being "effortlessly" born of two movie stars, tho. Not everyone can pull that off.

Would totally rather read that.

Well, they failed on that. I've seen more chemistry in a lab compared to those two.

"My most favorite thing about London," confides Dakota Johnson on the first day of our madcap foray into the capital's Fashion Week, "is that nobody recognizes me. It's really . . . cool."

That's the thousand-yard stare of a woman who was in an erotic scene where the dude removed her tampon from her.

I always love these interviews. The subject is always effortlessly cool/chic/casual. They always shop at little vintage shops that you've never heard of. They always meet up at some vegan cafe / gourmet burger / fair-trade organic kale bistro for the interview.

When Vogue interviews me, they'll be all,…

The movie, a very alternative love story that opens on Valentine's Day weekend, might just make Dakota this decade's Vivien Leigh Gretchen Moll.

"Secrets of the Vatican"! Yes, that was a good one— btw, it's just about to air again on PBS too, for those who still use televisions. Harrowing to watch at times, but very enlightening.

I'm on it.

I had a civil conversation with Holly Fisher's husband.

oh noooo I do this all the time and my husband wants to kill me. so - do you want to kill me too? Ok, sometimes (ok… anytime I know I'm going to order pancakes, waffles and/or sausage on the side) I bring my own maple syrup bc i hate fake maple syrup. I bring my own hot sauce bc i hate frank's. one time I brought…

It's an American show about losing weight, not a show about getting healthy. Of course, it takes things to wretched excess, because that's what the mob demands on the idiot box.