OH FFS NO!! It’s been a freaking terrible year for the whole world. At least leave us with our memories of Hercule Poirot. WE CANNOT HANDLE THIS BULLSHIT FAKE POIROT! It’s too much! Take it back, Kenneth Branagh! Take. It. Back.

If you put it that way....yeah, the asparagus does sound pretty ridiculous.

Also, she wasn’t actually Muslim. You should probably correct that too. She took her first husband’s last name and kept it and when she re-married, but she never converted to Islam, despite persistent reports to the contrary.

Do. Not. Fuck. With.Us.

Oh my god, that makes a horrible story even MORE horrible! I hadn’t even thought of it that way, but now I can’t unthink it. OH NO! Little Miss Sunshine!

It was almost as hilarious as that time he joked about how he’d be cool with the KKK except they were too tolerant of pot smoking.

For the second time today, I find myself with many questions. Again, none that I want answered.

I have many questions.

THANK-YOU! YES!

Don’t people ever have dinner with colleagues anymore? Or clients? Or any other number of business-related reasons to go to a restaurant with someone? Or is the idea that these men wouldn’t HAVE female colleagues/clients/bosses/etc? Okay, got it.

It’s a super common phase. Not just you, I promise!

Oh I know all about that Facebook feed, artless dodger! OMG!! I was a daycare teacher for 10 YEARS before I had kids; I went to school for it and did all kinds of workshops and everything every year, kept up with the academic research, the whole bit. I felt like I had a pretty good handle on child development basics.…

Great, now I’ll be singing this all day

Plus Russell Brand essentially dumped her for being too dumb and vacuous for his sober(-ish?) self....so that had to hurt.

Um, yeah, that’s not what they mean by “American cheese.” See Supernova’s response for clarification.

You know some of us are brown in Canada too, right?

Was it part of the meal Ryan Gosling made in Lala Land?

Um...natto with coconut and tempeh? Is it savoury or sweet? I can’t even tell. Why is it tagged “Breakfast is Served”? Is it a breakfast food??

We don’t have to “imagine” what it would happen if a musician had made a public protest against Barack Obama similar to Snoop’s against Trump. And since Ted Nugent isn’t in prison, I think we have our answer.

What? Every woman ISN’T a skinny 19-year-old with perky fake boobs and a willowy torso? This is brand new information! (or at least it seems to be for the fashion industry)