Anyone who is skipping school at 9 AM to buy lip liner doesn’t want anything to do with a textbook.

To mitigate the pain of Mark not appreciating you enough, I bring you this: someone is singing your praises over on Gawker. People care about about you Bears.

I can vouch for that. I have enjoyed you occasionally.

I think I helped. I feel mighty!

Little known fact: Cel-Ray Green was Bernie Sanders’ crunk persona back in the day.

They’re full of straight people boning each other.

Amen! Plus, you never have to worry about forgetting somebody’s name if you never got it in the first place.

If peak of her powers late 80s Meg Ryan was really reduced to banging Billy Crystal, then yes, she was the one with a problem.

I’m not really down with championing anyone who is actively promoting an an anti-choice agenda as a “hero,” no matter what their religious beliefs.

So, this article left a bad taste in my mouth.

Alternative clue thread:

Exactly. It would make Drew’s Gregg Easterbrook section of the funbag

You know who should win the best actress award this year? Leonardo Dicaprio.

I really hate for you to learn this way...but your boyfriend is gay and I've been fucking him for years.

Did it suck in the 80s and 90s though? I’d say no.

I’m just glad to have fairly liberal Muslim parents.

What the heck has happened to dialogue options in games? We had this stuff figured out!

I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that the Republican Muslim Coalition isn’t too gay friendly.

Hey, it’s not being out of beer and turning on the refrigerator, coupled with serving hamburgers that really sets Guy Fieri’s restaurants apart.