It’s not my fault Jalopnik comes up with stupid ass questions, you whiney faggot.

Idiots. You take any car as a gift. If you don’t want it you take it to CarMax for straight cash, homey and then buy a bunch of blow.

I’m curious, which dive bar?

Is carrying around baseball bats and saying shit like “bringing the wood” really the type of thing that provides motivation to football players? What a bunch of buffoons.

Oh Andrew. Was this for me?! You shouldn’t have.

Man, I love those Kamaz trucks.

Yea, Trader Joe’s is not only the closest grocery store to my house but I cut my weekly grocery bill by about 20% once I started shopping there. Also, their plantain chips are delightful.

Burn it all down and start over.

I got kicked off a course for doing this once. Good times.

Hey! I expect this thing I’m not paying for to be perfect!

I did this once when I was 16. I had just gotten my wisdom teeth out and for several days I was sitting at home and having zero problems. I had barely any swelling and didn’t need to take any of the pain medication. I was wondering what all the fuss was about. So, I decided to venture out of the house with some…

Why?

I’m sure they have a nice chuckle about it in the break room, too. The dickheads.

It’s not my fault you have dumb dreams.

Daaaamn. That fucking blows. I’d be extremely annoyed about that.

Really? I did not know that. It’s been probably a decade since I’ve crossed a border in a car. That’s pretty nuts.

In reality none of these are really going to work, right? All it takes is one yes bark from a drug dog and they’re going to dismantle your entire fucking car until they find it, much like that photo above.

Nikki isn’t really that bad. There are enough non-porn stars named Nikki in most peoples lives that it probably doesn’t phase them. It didn’t me. My first thought after reading your post was, “Nikki? Really?” The name Gianna, however, is uncommon enough to only be associated with two things: giant cans and an apparent…

I guess I could start lighting buildings in urban centers on fire...

I like purpose built vehicles like this. Makes me wish I had a purpose for one.