I read that as Count Chocula first and realized, “Shit, he’s probably looked into him, too.”

Every headline relating to Trump is like reading an Onion headline out of context. You do a double take, read it again, and then you realize it’s a joke.

Except it’s not, and then you just scream internally forever.

At this point, I honestly don’t even know what to say- there’s just no words to express the absolute insanity of what we are witnessing. There isn’t a single touchpoint I can reference to provide parallel or precedence. Can’t yell “1984" or “It Can’t Happen Here”, because even those seem to be set in some sort of…

Pretty soon my group will be only my husband and kids. Thankfully I have dogs.

The real “cool pope” would be like “this religion is bullshit and you’re all dumb fucks” as soon as he gets his hat thingy.

Holy mother of god. Idiocracy wasn’t prophetic, it was an idealistic fantasy about a future we can aspire to but never grasp.

Hey, 89% is a solid B+!

I’d sit on his lap...

Santa cannot be sexy, eh? (Eh intended... welcome Canada’s entry into the sexy Santa sweepstakes):

I don’t know about Santa Claus, but Saint Nicholas was clearly a Klingon.

He could enter my chimney, if you know what I mean and I think that you do.

2016: The Year I Really Started to Hate White People

Fuck all of this. Fuck everything. Idris Elba should be every Santa, everywhere.

Sometimes I hate that the Internets ever figured out how people could leave comments. (I realize I am complaining via a comment.) Internet comments have given people an open forum to show their true disgusting sides.

“... and when I hung up the phone it occurred to me, my boy was just like me yeah, my boy was just like me...

And the blown out eye. That’s creepy, too.

Yeah, this is not going to work.

But but butbutbut doesn’t he WANT those “millions of illegal voters” exposed? Is he going to let all that “widespread voter fraud” go undiscovered and unpunished? I thought he said we have a fraud problem— therefore, the only thing to do is recount the votes!

My barbies all just banged constantly - gay, straight, trans inclusive banging.

“What you’ll find about some of the nation’s billionaires, it’s not like they have their money located in a swimming pool in $100 bills....