Sometimes there’s a take... I won’t say a hero, ’cause, what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a take- and I’m talkin’ about Lieutenant Buttocks’s take here- sometimes, there’s a take, well, it’s the take for its time and place. It fits right in there. And that’s Lieutenant Buttocks’s take, in the grays. And even if…

Clearly you’ve forgotten your Bible:

He looks like a foreign exchange student that’s really trying to embrace the culture but has no clue what he’s doing.

That’s one hell of a self-conscious broken clock.

““people are taking advantage of the system and then other people aren’t receiving what they really need to live and we think it’s very unfair to them.””

That dog will tell all about this meeting after she wins an Oscar in 10 years

He looks more like a Kyle to me.

That goatee dipped in honey mustard is an affront to facial hair everywhere.

You mean his changeup that he throws at nearly 90 MPH? Yeah, that thing is fucking filthy.

“So long, Farrell, auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye!”

Honestly it kind of annoys me that we do this. It’s like if China decided to start calling itself Asia and everyone just went along with it.

his horses, named Iancol and Shakeitupbetty, tested positive for the drug sildenafil (also know as by the brand name Viagra)

You leave Uncle Phil out of this!

This is now the second time in a month that ESPN has fallen on its face while trying to discipline one of its biggest personalities for daring to talk politics on Twitter.

Pssshhh...that’s nothing. I drove a double-clutch once, and you better believe it, I earned that extra point on my license.

Yes I am qualified because I know a Koala isn’t actually a bear but a Marsupial.

Can confirm: That is definitely a bird landing on a bear.

“Scarcity is not actually real, btw.”