I have a part time job at Williams-Sonoma. AMA

Never seen anyone use Christian Science Monitor as a verb before

Jack Morris getting voted in at this instance is equivalent to Roy Moore elected Senator.

You know nothing about their situation or what Ohtani is looking for, bro. They have both obtuse management and a cute center fielder.

Some might be eager to read politics into this, but those who follow closely know the season Staley’s prepping for is Elephant Poaching.

No love for Mike Iuzzolino?!?!

“We’re like the housing market—up and up, week after week, forever.”

These must be the most traumatized kids in the history of Littleton, Colorado.

I thought Tall Baller from the G is what Paul Manafort calls Jim Comey.

Close, we want people to hold elementary school leaders above people who proclaim the voice of God. But if you’re more of an auditory learner than a reader, I understand how you’d get confused.

Redact

Not sure we can muster a quorum. AJ’s LSD is now the property of Hulk Hogan, pending appeal.

In Philly, Donovan McNabb is still the Escape G.O.A.T.

Who the fuck are the LA Razors?

“Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.”

Do you call masturbation “off-speed stuff” or “junk balling”?

Probably part of the ol’ come from behind strategy.

This might be the worst thing ever to happen to Syria. They’re lucky they get to go home.

This would never be allowed in real cockfighting.

Are you suggesting they don’t have the right koalafications?