Nice article, Francisco. You spelled out Jorge and Jose, but in the future, it would be helpful to unscramble the other players’ first names.

I have never had as much fun at work as bobby is having today. Live the dream.

Notice how it’s his dad, not him, weighing in.

Just got out of rehab on Saturday, so 1/29/17 for me. Already been to a meeting today. Feeling good, I’m pretty sure.

Not if you expand “relevant” to include “has a disasterous, cap-killing contract.”

I have a strong feeling that Sessions would take this as a compliment to his momma.

If Phinneas Gage taught us anything, it’s that homie here is gonna want to keep that branch as a souvenir.

To those outside Philly, “having a big dick” just means carrying a couple extra d batteries in your pocket in case JD Drew walks by.

Fittingly, I’m laying a couple of bricks as I read this.

You’re my fact checkin’ cuz.

First, thanks. Second, basketball is a very interdependent sport. If player one gets 13 pts and 2 tos and player 2 gets 12 and three, you don’t team them up to get 25 and 5. Likewise, if you’re surrounded by shit, you may get more in one category and less in another.

1998 Kellyanne is the woman who tries to pick you up at the hotel bar and you’re like, “pleasepleaseplease lay off me so I can have my chili cheese sticks and vat of ranch dressing accompanied by only my own shame. I implore you: I need fried food more than I want sex.”

I’ve never seen a better argument against advanced stats in basketball. If Anthony Davis isn’t near the top of your statistics, you should run more numbers.

“Bernahard Longer”

What is “my love life”?

Is that a ... double pun?

Can’t believe you’re using this guy’s major medical problem as a launching pad for a joke. You’re a Diek, man.

100% my favorite misheard lyric.

“But yeah, can’t be afraid of taking them shots.”

There’s a bright side to this: people who only eat organic, local and farm-to-table die first.