Trent Dilfer is the Trent Dilfer of color commentary.

Step 1: Send them this article.

But does anyone really have the right to bear alarms?

Damnit, Brian!

Fortunately for JPP, he can still let people know he’s fine by giving the ‘k’ sign with the remaining fingers.

You can tell he’s angry by the dry, gruff tone.

My wife and I purchased a Veggie-tales sing-a-long DVD (4 pack!) because she wanted to see a cucumber sing a song about a hairbrush.

Should talks on Jezebel about free weiners come with a trigger warning or something?

So many well thought out replies for a post that wasn’t serious at all.

I think Floyd is probably the better fighter. While Ronda is undefeated in the women’s division, but Floyd’s never lost a fight against a man or a woman (but only against things like books and the law).

“There are some other people who should own guns. Active soldiers are highly trained in the safe and proper use of firearms and probably should; police officers receive far less training and probably shouldn’t.”

Hopefully this doesn’t impact the reverence given to an Auburn Public Administration degree in the Public Administration community. Isn’t Auburn Public Administration basically the Harvard Law of the Southeast?

Yeah, but neither is Chris Kluwe.

How far can you kick a football?

This.

Apparently the fight started when Arian Foster said he didn’t believe in a God, and RG3 got upset because “I am clearly right here” he said.

“I always destroy my old cell phones.”

I’m pretty sure your only recourse at this point is getting your boss’ daughter pregnant and marrying her, forcing your boss to re hire you in order to support the grandbaby.

I’m really not sure. I still have the Game Gear I think, maybe I’ll try to find it and answer this age old question.

You’re missing Bases Loaded, NBA Jam (Boomshakalaka!) and whatever Olympic game Nintendo had for the power pad.