How do you imply someone is an “ostrich-looking bitch”?

At least he was more engaging than the Corey Haim meet-n-greet the month prior.

Who would have thought Conan was a better football strategist than Pete Carroll?

If there’s two things we know about Michael Jordan, it’s that he likes to gamble and is bad at it.

I’m curious as to the scoring criteria. At which point did it transition from shitty shot to shitty pass, because honestly, I’m not sure I could make that distinction on some of those.

Good deal on the gigabit router; it’s been the bottleneck in my home network for awhile now and I’ve been waiting for a deal like this to fix it.

Good deal on the gigabit router; it’s been the bottleneck in my home network for awhile now and I’ve been waiting…

Well of course they’re good now, they hired someone from the Cardinals!

They hacked the Astros, who over that time period were the MLB equivalent of the Philadelphia 76ers.

Sure you’re supposed to tip in response to being provided a service, but boy, you should see the staff reactions to going behind the counter to do it yourself to save them the hassle.

That board isn’t hovering, you TechTease.

Got there in time to login and find out they’re sold out.

Got there in time to login and find out they’re sold out.

I’m surprised this is getting all the coverage while the moat of Minute Maid orange juice between the infield and outfield is being completely ignored.

When reached for comment, Rice said both he and his wife take the lack of interest as a slap in the face...

1b. Roger Sterling’s moustache.

No mauling, goring, or violence?

For the non-food object, I’m going with an unscented candle with no glass container. Solid, soft, easy to pass through and out.

Fact: At Subway, an artist makes your food.

I once saw a guy order a meatball sub with veggies, mayonnaise, and sweet onion teriyaki. After each addition, the poor sandwich artist (really, Leslie missed the boat on that angle) would look at him just to make sure she heard right.

They should go to their governing body and said, “Hey, Uzebek us up on this?”