I wonder if the cut man gets paid extra one week each month.

Does anyone else wonder who this amazing Arti is?

You're concerned? Look at his face!

His middle name is William.

I don't think "jumpers" means what you think it means. It does involve some level of jumping.

Universal Law:

+1 for being quicker on the draw.

Of all the possible highlights that I thought could end up on Deadspin from a IU / MSU game, a positive one for IU was not really considered.

Who said they were Mexicans? Why do you assume that?

"I need to google you!"

You notice how he's not flipping anyone off?

If Shannon Sharpe is involved, "talking" also needs to be in quotes.

Air, ranked.

1) Water.

Looks like the profile of World Trade Center #2.

Doesn't he know he's supposed to put his best face forward?

Knock it off, that's akknnoying.

12, but Calvin Johnson and Peterson were keepers from last year.

What the hell is this? Did I get drunk and stumble onto Jezebel?