Also, out of the thousands of legislators we've had in the past few years, he's the one that had three assassination attempts on his life, by mostly right-wingers. He's the reason why you have to have your items and person searched when you try to enter the Capitol grounds.

I used to send hate mail back to Dan Patrick when he was a conservative radio shock jock, and he actually would respond. Here's what you need to know about him:

I found that marijuana exacerbated my complex migranes rather than helped them, but I suspect that it may have been due to a high CBD strain I used and the fact that vaping may cause the user to inhale a sizable portion of carbon monoxide (a known neurological toxicant). It also did squat for my back pain. Helped…

Hey, I live in Texas and the bathrooms aren't the most air conditioned part of most older buildings. When I take a shit I work up a powerful sweat and sometimes have to take off my shirt, even in a public place. I don't want my shirt smelling like armpit because I had to take a shit in a sauna.

Pro tip: I'm not white.

True story, while I was at my emergency management job I mistyped in the address of my university and got a European website affiliated with the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade.

I firmly disagree with the idea that 14 year olds can't look like adults. My 11 year old cousin looked older than me when I was 21. She had about a foot on me and caked on the makeup like a pro.

There was the shooting of a cop by two sovereign citizens and the trend of fake liens taken out against government bureaucrats.

The way the sovereign citizens movement does most of its damage is from the couch. Google "paper terrorism."

Don't front, you don't give a shit about women of color either.

For this to even be equivalent, there would need to be legions of women brandishing guns and threatening to murder the people sending women death and rape threats. We could call it "#CastleDoctrine," as in the Castle Doctrine begins when our bodily integrity is threatened online or in real life.

The one composed of unemployed/underemployed college-educated middle class males who feel disenfranchised with the current system and decide to rack up collateral damage. We see them in various forms, the sovereign citizen movement, the beginning of Boko Haram after the Maiduguri riots, the flocking of middle class…

You can get it on lookhuman.com. They also have a shirt that says "A woman's place is in the House/the Senate/and the Oval Office."

They have a new Twitter follower (i.e. me).

Lord help us. When they converted 93.7 The Arrow (a classic rock station) to a hip-hop station overnight, Houstonians—or more accurately, people from the suburbs—had a shit fit and started dropping n-bombs and racial slurs on the Twitter like there was no tomorrow. It was truly vile.

I hope she knows that energy consultant Wood Mackenzie thinks that coal is dead and done, and it has nothing to do with Obama. It has to do with low natural gas prices and oversupply. Coal is fucking expensive as hell to extract and even more expensive to transport and more expensive than that to combust.

You're using the late 60s as a model for moral behavior? Huge portions of the South were still segregated. They locked up the mentally retarded in attics and basements. The majority of African Americans were illiterate. There were riots in the streets and entire cities burned to the ground. The military was…

I think it's appropriate considering the context of the episode. When Kyle went to the police station he told the cops, "I'd like to report a pedophile that has been abusing my brother," and they all rushed to crucify the pedophile. When they found out it was the hot kindergarten teacher, they thought it was great…

Get a cat to be named Vulvatron and then we can talk!

I have a cat named Battery. The next cat I get will be named Assault. So when I go into the vet's office I will bring in Assault and Battery.