You've missed a weekend of spectacular Twitter meltdowns on my part.

Yeah, I thought the first one was decent. And Liam Hemsworth is very pretty. It probably helps that I haven't read/have no interest in ever reading the books.

We were gonna go see the new Hunger Games tonight, but then there was a Cowboys game and I didn't want to miss it (big mistake). My mom's got A List of movies that she wants me to see with her when I get home next week, though.

Especially when part of it. It's the most absurd thing ever. Trying to explain it to non-Americans was one of the best parts of going abroad.

Oh, don't worry, my ex had plenty of jokes. Closest I've ever come to a cunt-punt, that weekend there.

Formal sorority recruitment is the most hellish process in the history of ever. My ex didn't realize how bad it was until I was (in Texas) getting phone calls at 2am because the chick running tabulations had somehow managed to break the pre-formatted spreadsheet.

Yup, that's why I graduated early.

It's pretty much exactly what you think it was like, with the added gross factor of having to live in Lancaster. But thank you!

Nah, I did all the statistics. I never even got to to talk to the girls, although I did get super awkward when some of them pledged and I was like, "Oh! You're the one whose dad makes [absurdly large sum of money]!"

The hilarious irony of this is that she is not a skinny girl by any stretch of the imagination. Just, like, SO DUMB. I skipped recruitment that year and went back to Texas for the Super Bowl.

Nah, that's standard fratland. We just had really bitchy people. Our RVP one year tried to include mandatory chapter-wide weight loss as part of the pre-recruitment plan, and we had four sisters who'd been in treatment for eating disorders at the time.

My father would feed me to the manatees if I dropped out of law school. I'd rather just take the three years of misery so I can lord it over people that I have a law degree.

Which one, Michigan? I got wait-listed, and by the time I was off the list I'd already put my deposit down at F&M. I really, really wish I had gone there. Small lib-arts is a trap. And, if it makes you feel better, I am graduating with only one marketable skill, and that one skill is only marketable to very specific…

Yeah we got put on double-secret probation this semester so I pretty much went inactive. I think I showed up to like two meetings all semester? Maybe three. I checked out after I came back from being abroad and realized that our entire exec sucked.

My parents broke a years-long silent treatment of each other put their feet down when I said I was booking a flight to Beirut. I was broke and stranded in Italy once, but it ended up being super fun because I was with people who were also broke an stranded.

None, largely because I made a point to be absent from as many events as it was possible to be absent from. I was a recruitment officer my sophomore year and my non-Greek friends were taking bets on whether I'd kill myself or my RVP first.

If I could do it over again, I'd either have gone to Michigan when they accepted me, or else just sucked it up and done a semester at Austin Community and transferred to UT. Don't regret leaving Texas, do regret coming to central PA.

Yeah my chapter was massive. I want to say our total this past year was 142? Something like that.

Seventeen year old me deserves to be repeatedly slapped in the face. I would do so many things over again if I could go back to when I was applying to college. But yeah, more school. Taking the spring/summer off to be a pseudo-hobo, then law school starts in the fall.

Yeah I got kinda suckered into taking over the Arabic tutoring, and it was SO BAD. Had a great arrangement going for a while there where I did this kid's homework in exchange for beer.