So we shouldn’t use places and animals.  They need to add beers to that list.

My old manager tricked me into thinking we needed to meet to discuss accounts that might need to be followed up for sales opportunities. The next day we met in a small meeting room. He dialed up a human resource person who proceeded to tell me I was being laid off. This was at Dell.

Exactly. To peer directly at the pure evil that is Hell means it will kill you instantly. This needed to be spoiled to save lives.  I watched the first few seconds and I’m ruined for eternity.

This would allow me to relive the glory days of high school when I owned a 1990 ford ranger 4cyl. Swap out the stereo and speakers, maybe put in a little Dynamat Extreme and I’m all set. Although I’d want an extended cab this time.  And I could hall around small items in the back.

By Jack Handy

Maybe they did, but maybe Land Rover forgot to move their shit out of the apartment, and Ford just can’t move on from all the good times they had?

This is similar to my RPS, which is like restless leg syndrome.  It helps to stretch it.

Bigland?  More like the big house, amirite?

Please don’t discard your Corona beer down the sink. I know how to handle the hazardous materials and can properly “dispose” of the beer. Just let me know if you’re local and I’ll Uber myself over there because I may or may not be too drunk to drive.  Completely unrelated of course.

I’ve absolutely spoiled myself by purchasing a 2lb bag of Member’s Mark brand coffee beans from Sam’s Club, and then grinding those beans, then brewing it with a Bona Vita coffee maker. Even before I tweaked it to my exact tastes, it’s way better than any coffee I would get from a restaurant. I’ve only replaced the…

I don’t do lines. That’s my answer to that. If it’s unavoidable then that’s why I brought my phone. A little web browsing to pass the time in line.

Because you can kill multiple deer at a time if you find them walking together.  Some might call it a mass shooting.

So you always pick your butt while cooking?

I usually get an achy feeling in my balls when reading about this administration.

Good morning class. Now if you can open up your Bibles we can begin our lesson.

Was the primary ID type just an ID but sans the driving part?

Please don’t give him any ideas. Also I wouldn’t be surprised if Madoff hasn’t attempted to contact Trump to get himself pardoned already because it would be his best shot. Or maybe Trump is working his way up to pardon bigger criminals until he ultimately finds a way to preemptively pardon himself for future crimes…

Yeah, and does anyone have any change?  All I've got are these damn Nipplease coins.

Yes. But when you jump the curb trying to make a u-turn in this boat, it really will feel like a riding a small wave.

I hope it’s a Ford Windstar. I believe you could get those with a V8 and a dedicated subwoofer!