I had plenty of animals growing up (2 dogs, 3 cats + litters of cats and dogs) and loved them a lot, but as I’ve grown up and run across other people’s animals, most of them have been pretty shitty or not well taken care of. I currently have two dogs of my own, but I think after they pass I’ll be done with animals in…

Concur. We purchased licensing for a 3rd party tool that uses sql to generate reports. You can build your own queries, make all sorts of useful reports and customize as needed. But you’d be amazed at the pushback and gripes about being empowered to do their own work instead of relying on one or two people in the IT…

How about using Apple Pay?  I feel like I see that symbol quite a bit on the gas pumps.

Yeah, that’s how I felt about visiting the JFK Museum in Dallas, TX where he was assassinated. Totally ruined my day. I mean it just a total bummer being there.  1 out of 5 stars.

My daughter looks for my face and when she sees it she smiles.

I can’t prove it, but I can almost guarantee if you tested that seat before and after she sat on it, the number of germs would be about the same. It’s just skin touching a seat. Now if she wiped her balloon knot all over it, then that’d be another story.

Agreed. Although I get why tax payers love to hate paying taxes. Our small town voted to fix a stretch of road that’s been tore up from the floor up for a long time. Then after the vote succeeded, the town found out the funds wouldn’t even be available for construction on it for another 3 years. People were pretty…

If someone asked me to help them out with their BMW, I’d help them, but I’d shit all over it too while I did.

Whenever my wife asks me what to do about her dumb friends, I just send her a gif similar to the below:

Well my soul is already scanned via x-ray before boarding a flight, so might as well scan my face while they’re at it.

Sho ‘nuff.

Yeah, the Senate voting 2/3 majority is presented like it’s an option, but they’ve literally stated they won’t be removing him from office already.  It doesn’t matter what he’s done, he’s not going anywhere based off that rule.

Don’t text, ‘OK’, but do text ‘Sure thing’.

Yep.  I was newly married and didn't want to be the reason there was no meat at the Thanksgiving feast.  I was just as mad at myself for doing it as I was them for asking us to handle it.

Thanksgiving at my in-laws:

I was about to say, not everyone can sing high but they may be able to hit the bass notes instead which is important depending on the music. There are plenty of Peter Steele (Type O Negative) style singers.

No Twisted Metal references? I am sad.  Also I don’t care what anyone thinks about the truck.  I hope Musk sells the shit out of it.

Guarantee that I had the fastest time by anyone on Death Wind I and Death Wind II using Fire Stingray.

I see they kept true to the K.I.S.S. philosophy. That’s the mobile site, obviously, but there’s literally nothing else on that page.  This looks like a website that should be selling me an iPhone charger.