How did he sneak a pitching wedge into the field?  That's the only way he could pop that ball straight up in the air like that.

I’m definitely gonna slide a mile six inches at a time to get this album. 

I got hosed at a big lunch one time. 19 people ordered food, only 18 people got their food. I already hate waiting on so many people to arrive so the rest of us can finally get seated, but forgetting to cook my food nearly sent me off the rails.

People might like him more if he was high all the time.

The Supercharger was in the parking lot of a Sheetz gas station in Hickory. I tried calling the Sheetz several times to find out more, but was hung up on every time I explained what I was calling about.

That’s no joke. I mean look at this letter. I bet this was easily readable a long time ago by the person that wrote it, but it takes me forever just to make it through it and I’m not entirely sure I can read every single word properly.

I used to record book and page numbers for an oil and gas company. It was pretty awful job, but some of the more interesting times were reading cursive writing in old wills and other legal documents from the early 20th century and mid 19th century. Having grown up with cursive and learning to write that way, it felt…

THERE ARE SHEEP, WOLVES, SHEEP WOLVES, SHEEP DOGS, SHEEPLE, SHEEP FUCKERS, SHEEP HERDERS, SHEEP SHIFTERS, LAMB OF GOD, SHEEP COUNTERS, SHEEPISH SMILES.  TO WHICH GROUP DO YOU BELONG?

Sad.

Is he on his 16 day vacation yet?  It's the only thing I can can think of that he has so much time on his hands to tweet this much garbage.

“Him crashing was not caused by the spike strips, but was caused by him overcorrecting.”

I wouldn’t know what to do with 16 days off. I certainly don’t have a budget for any vacation. Even if I did, I haven’t worked for anyone that would let me take 16 consecutive days off.  16!

I see he’s perfected the vampire widow’s peak.

I saw someone cut a pizza with a pair of scissors one time. They didn’t know how to pizza.

I think that’s the whole point of this and the other issues with Wisconsin at the moment. The people care, they just get continually screwed by the lame duck governor, gerrymandering, etc.  So even if they get out and vote, they still end up losing.

Trump slipped out of so many career ruining stunts that it may not have.  But it did matter to Alabama.  I guess I’d like to think both parties can agree on one thing, no voting for child fuckers.

Yes and they should feature dachshunds as well. Nothing funnier than floppy eared sausage dogs running.

Trump supporters trying to be ironic?

I hope it turns into a big game of Not It.  With the last two saying it at the same time, and they have to do some tie breaker like Rock, Paper, Scissors.

I bet Trump genuinely thought he couldn’t be turned down.