I tasted a cousin’s chicken and it was the best shit ever.  He only used salt and pepper.

The person didn’t send the invite with “Adults only”?  Sounds like they sent an invite to a person with kids without setting that expectation up front, and then expects everyone to just know that it’s adults only.

I never doubted you for a second. Although I think he’s memorized his sight words like dog, cat, shit hole, and loser.

Might as well be Jack Inhofe, cause he doesn’t do shit for Oklahoma.

Yes. The whole complimenting Pompeo seemed like an excuse to personally attack Tillerson. You can tell he couldn’t wait to get past Pompeo, so he could start bashing Tillerson. The whole tweet seems to come out of nowhere.

I’m thinking sympathy is skewing the outcome of this poll since his father just died. I didn’t know what I wanted at that age, but I know it wasn’t Bush.

That would be awesome, but also extremely hard if the companies kept good records. I feel like some Fight Club level of chaos would need to happen before we get that dream come true.

I dodged an aluminum ladder that was perpendicular to the highway.  If there was someone in the right lane, I would’ve hit them.  A complete knee jerk reaction to swerve.

I imagine the breath is a combination of milk and pussy.  Not his wife’s though.

Probably does the double pits to chesty method of applying Axe Body Spray.

Me while driving:

Paul Ryan: It’s good to see so many white faces out here tonight!

You did it the cool way.

That is pretty cool.  I have a big backyard that's begging for a shed.

This reminds me of a hockey game I went to where at half time (2/3 time?), they put a coffee can in the middle of the arena, and have people throw rubber orange hockey pucks into the coffee can. They can go weeks without anyone hitting the coffee can. The winner gets like a $1000.

I was thinking they showed him the Wobbly H.  Is The Tower the same as the Eiffel Tower?

Amazon. You need to borrow someone’s prime membership if you don’t already have one.

I maintain that Dr.Seuss’s, ‘Put Me in the Zoo’ is about an animal with a zoonotic disease spreading it to humans and animals either by touch or in the air. The final page of the book shows how the two children that happened upon the animal convince it that it should join the circus, not the zoo. The illustration…

I can’t imagine raising a child and occasionally getting sick myself. I’d be using all my vacation time for what should be sick days.