who is Ted the cat

Lots of bitching about “why should I care what anyone thinks about my appearance?” Here’s how I look at it:

He said Joe Mantegna.

nerd

Am I the only one who doesn’t give a shit about eclipses? I mean, I’ve seen a handful throughout my life and they’re cool to look at for like 1.5 seconds, but I honestly don’t see what the big deal is.

MY buddy thinks I’m weird but I think she is so hot.

Yeah, like I’m going to care about the culinary opinions of people who think “pizza” is tomato soup served in pie crust.

Ketchup isn’t even my favorite thing to put on a hot dog, but I dump that shit on every time I’m in full view of a native Chicagoan, just in case, and make as much eye contact as possible while I do it, because every window-licker who throws a temper tantrum because someone else put what is perhaps the most ubiquitous…

I traded in my last car. They gave me a price within 10-15% of what I’d have gotten private party and I made most of the difference back on the sales tax and registration savings from the then reduced new car price. And then I didn’t have to go through the hassle of dealing with random people on Craigslist.

The 3 most important words in this piece: “completely privately funded”.

He’s the best player on a team that’s about to win a championship and is outplaying a top-five all-time guy on the other team. He has every right to beat his chest. Roster construction isn’t his job. His job is to be excellent and he is.

Mr. Gianforte draws a lot of water in this town. You don’t draw shit, Jacobs.

You turn the thermostat down to turn the AC up. Small, but important distinction.

Freedom is government not telling you where you can take your gun but legislating where you can pee. I get it now.

Who cares? This NBA season was fun as hell. There were a ton of great, fun, entertaining story lines and tons of great basketball. The postseason was kind of a dud, but so what? It happens. But it’s not like it’s part of a long term trend - last year the playoffs were superb.

but let’s be real, they were almost certain to lose from the moment Leonard went down

Folks, this is what happens when you demand Deadspin stick to sports.

Soooo ummm.... hate to be that guy, but now that Kinja is infinitely scrolling, maybe we can attempt to avoid putting an article with hardcore digital pornography below a story about the SNES Classic, or at least put a bigger NSFW warning on it?