He died doing what he loved...

He was clean-shaven before the game started.

*looks at leaderboard*

At least he died doing what he loved, inconveniencing motorists.

I lease cars because otherwise, most of the people here wouldn’t be able to practice their judgmental moral superiority.

Chuck E Cheese- I haven’t been to one of these places in ages. The video game cabinets have been replaced by educational games, but the animatronic show goes on. Across the table two time Super Bowl MVP, Eli Manning squirts Elmers glue into his mouth. As we wait for our sausage pizza, Eli leans in and confides that…

Oof, this is really going to drop his stock in the next update of Chad Ford’s 2012 NBA Draft rankings.

Fuck off with your poignant analysis and astute observations. Give me non-sequitur, absurdist humor or get lost.

Went to a bar in Chicago, total hipster neighborhood, to meet up with friends. Some rail thin bartender with a handlebar mustache scoffed at me when I asked him if what his favorite beer was, like I was supposed to know. So now I go to my corporate job every single day and I will move up the management ladder until…

This was intended to prevent a Kobe Bryant or Zaza Pachulia situation fun.

So let me get this straight: The post in question wasn’t written by Kukla, but rather, someone from Kukla’s Clan?

...and in an odd way, it wasn’t until he lifted the team up from San Diego and forced it to play on a kind of aircraft carrier thing that could fly and also be a boat and wasn’t directly connected to any particular populace or geography at all that Spanos could SEE the damage he wrought, and the tarnished legacy he…

I think a big problem is people do not understand tax brackets. This misunderstanding makes people think higher tax rates for higher earnings are unfair.

You think that’s awkward? You should have seen the rookie who asked Rex Ryan about footing the bill.

The Arizona legislature has come to regret hiring Dan Cortese to draft the state’s criminal code in the late ‘90s.

Who wants to pizza Mutombo?

I think Curt Schilling should be in the hall, too—the hall of great big buttheads!

I have gotten to the point where I withhold judgement immediately on these from being burned many times both ways. Thought Duke case was a slam dunk they were guilty and was wrong, thought Bill Cosby was innocent (years back when it was just one allegation and lots of people defending) and was wrong. Been right a few…