Please write another article about hockey!!! I need more paper for my fire place!!

“Sorry for the brevity” is now part of my email signature. 

Prob need your diaper changed after Mueller report. Maybe your boyfriend can change for you

Subject: (no subject)

The crush line is the ice cream and the f-word is the cherry on top.

From: Paul Sidwell Trevor Bauer

Counterpoint: Fuck the Orioles forever and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

.100 is going to be known as the Davis line.

For every Deadspin article about a player getting underpaid or avoiding free agency in exchange for long-term deals at less than “open-market value” - this article should be linked at the bottom as a reminder of the flip side of the coin when teams overpay for garbage and end up having to trot out said garbage with a…

Flip him? It is a million miles beyond delusional to think he could be traded.

This, then, is what happens when a king of the three true outcomes loses his bat speed, and with it his power to keep pitchers honest, and is reduced to a one-true-outcome hitter. (The one true outcome for all of us is decline, and, eventually, death.)

At least his nickname, “Crush”, still applies, as it now aptly describes what he and everyone else feels whenever he steps to the plate: soul-sucking, crushing nullity.

As a fan of another abysmal team, I refuse to feel sorry for these Orioles fans.  You knew goddamn well what you were going to go watch when you bought the ticket.  Is there a single person in that stadium that went to the game with honest high expectations?  Anyone who has seen their starting lineup and has even the…

no thanks, dallas braden

Can we get the nickname LASER RAMÓN going?

Greg Oden (old age)

What a long line of cursed Blazers Big Men there have been:

“Protect yourself at all times.”

99 times out of 100, I read a boxing story, and it makes me ashamed that I love this stupid sport as much as I do. And then there's something like this, and my heart grows like the Grinch's when he pulls the sled away from the cliff.

That’s some delicious schadenfreude. Dumbass.