when rich people hear that we want everyone to get equal access to healthcare, they naturally assume that means they’ll have to suffer the way we do, because they know that their extreme wealth depends fundamentally on our poverty

This is some serial killer shit

Your gifs are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter

Chicken pot pies are not bullshit. Sure, if you spent $5 on a Marie Callender one that takes an hour to bake, la de dah mister moneybags, but the real trick here is to get the Banquet chicken pot pies, you know, the ones in the red box that are five for five bucks if not cheaper.

Artie Moreno just dropping his wallet on the table like

In the interest of fairness, Barry Bonds was the greatest baseball player I’d ever seen live until I saw Trout live last year. Like that guy was really, really, really good.

The Electoral College never should have existed and Democrats should have been screaming for this since 2000. The criminal idiocy of the Bush and Trump administrations prove it.

You make a really good argument. On the other hand, schadenfreude. 

The number of people who didn’t get this pun could fill the entire ocean under the moon.

He just wanted those kids to stop their Evil Ways...

Cutting down on the number of people Hernandez ejects from games would probably shorten the average game a little too, don’t you think?

My agent says he can get them about tree fiddy.

I know, right? 18 year olds in the boom era before the greatest financial crash since in 1932 should have really known better. I mean, all those big finance guys saw it coming. That’s why we didn’t, as a country, have to bail all of those finance guys out like these idiot journalism majors who made a mistake (unlike…

Two dozen MLB front offices saw this and immediately lied to themselves that this is why they didn’t even attempt to sign an MVP-caliber player in free agency.

but is she wrong? she sounds insufferable, but is she wrong? how do we know that her son didn’t get in because little livvie jade took his spot? or took spots from any number of other people?

Unfortunately, his mother held him by the ankles when she dipped him into the whiz.

You're not wrong, but I'm not sorry this lawsuit is happening either. It won't go anywhere, I'm sure, but I don't care.

“I am SOOO glad they didn’t have Facebook back when I was a young prophet!”

I don’t know. The guy needlessly slaughtered an entire herd of pigs, cursed a fig tree for failing to provide him with fruit out of season, told his followers that he expected them to “hate” their families, and then told his followers he’d BRB before they died, and that was over 2,000 years ago.