Cutting down on the number of people Hernandez ejects from games would probably shorten the average game a little too, don’t you think?

My agent says he can get them about tree fiddy.

I know, right? 18 year olds in the boom era before the greatest financial crash since in 1932 should have really known better. I mean, all those big finance guys saw it coming. That’s why we didn’t, as a country, have to bail all of those finance guys out like these idiot journalism majors who made a mistake (unlike…

Two dozen MLB front offices saw this and immediately lied to themselves that this is why they didn’t even attempt to sign an MVP-caliber player in free agency.

but is she wrong? she sounds insufferable, but is she wrong? how do we know that her son didn’t get in because little livvie jade took his spot? or took spots from any number of other people?

Unfortunately, his mother held him by the ankles when she dipped him into the whiz.

You're not wrong, but I'm not sorry this lawsuit is happening either. It won't go anywhere, I'm sure, but I don't care.

“I am SOOO glad they didn’t have Facebook back when I was a young prophet!”

I don’t know. The guy needlessly slaughtered an entire herd of pigs, cursed a fig tree for failing to provide him with fruit out of season, told his followers that he expected them to “hate” their families, and then told his followers he’d BRB before they died, and that was over 2,000 years ago.

The Westboro Baptist Church once protested outside my workplace - a newspaper in Casper, Wyoming- and this local pagan counter-protested by driving his muscle car into the lot, getting out, blasting metal, and turning his back to the God-Hates-Fags crowd showing his “Christ Is A Cunt” Cradle of Filth t-shirt. That man…

at least there’s a possibility that someone strikes out in free agency and talks themselves into “yeah, but Wall is still an All-Star with tons of talent, so maybe...”

And almost 100% of the ones you do.

That shot chart is Gruden-like. However, my favorite NBA visualization is still this Google search result:

You can pry my bread and tortillas from my cold dead hands. Bury me in burritos.

Assuming by “that venue,” you mean every goddamn place on this garbage continent.

I heard he called poutine “shitty soggy fries”.

Wow. A player effectively banned from playing his sport in an entire country?! He must have REALLY disrespected their national anthem. 

How sad is it that my reaction to this was “Yeah, that sounds about right for United Healthcare.” It is like pulling teeth to get them to pay for anything. I had to get several MRIs a few years ago and I had to get put in the hospital for a week just to get a 20-minute test.

“Furkan Korkmaz” is the phonetic spelling of “fuckin’ coke, man” as sung by Scott Stapp.

Not just billionaires...if I had a million