Mary Fallin signed a law requiring welfare recipients to get drug-tested to receive food stamps. She talks constantly about self-reliance, personal responsibility, and cutting government waste. It’s rather noteworthy that her children are living on the taxpayers of the state, in an arrangement that in Christina’s case…

Nancy wtf are you talking about please

GODDAMN! That dress is simultaneously repulsive and also the best thing I have ever seen. The former stripper inside me is feeling very conflicted about all this.

Dyslexics of the World Untie!

Disagree. you should have to LIVE IN THE SHAME of your typos, and never be able to delete them.

This week, we’re talking about the worst things that we’ve seen on airplanes

I am the worst thing. I was invited to a wedding in hawaii and i brought my roommate on as a date, but in hawaii we fell in love like some sort of temporary spell. The plane back we fucked slowly under a blanket. We got back and it was just as normal.

He was also my middle school janitor.

He began to strangle her, but after a struggle she managed to grab his gun and shoot him.

i mean, you KNOW i want to live more like you, so. I’m into it.

eating a salad as a full meal is like eating whispers

Everything is picture perfect. All it needs is a Hollywood star.

every time there’s announcement like this

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury...

congrats, huck.

opposite sex

This is why I embrace the “don’t you dare cross contaminate and make me sick, because if I’m going to get the mucus shits for two days, by fuck I’m going to eat enough gluten to put me in the hospital.”

please don’t give rich people money

There’s always one in every group. And we need one. We need you, JujyMonkey up on that wall.