Does that defense actually work? “I was black out drunk I don’t remember starting all those fights. Seriously, that’s not my personality at all!”

A cough suppressant made him threaten to kill his wife. Just want to be sure we’re all clear on that.

Overdosing on a non-narcotic antitussive? How middle school.

Along the same lines as Becca's story about people making assumptions about educational backgrounds, I waited tables at an Italian chain restaurant that falls between Olive Garden and Macaroni Grill in terms of cost/quality the summer between college and law school. Our clientele was generally pretty decent, and as a…

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know my cheddar biscuits will be free. And I won't forget the men who died, so I can bitch about automatic gratuity.

Re: the Jessica Simpson’s (alleged) abuse of Adderall-

Kelly Clarkson and I have very similar body types. Like her, my weight has fluctuated over the past 5 years and I’m currently the heaviest I’ve ever been. It has really been a struggle for me to feel comfortable in my own skin but Kelly’s confidence and body positivity have inspired me to be more accepting of myself.…

I need a list of every man who willingly goes to see this movie so I know to never, ever sleep with those basic ass basics.

• President Barack Obama was the only celebrity smart enough to turn down a cameo in the Entourage movie and now I’m suddenly feeling patriotic. [TMZ]

That’s kind of a California thing. You wear jeans, boots and a light jacket while someone with you wears a summer dress and flip flops.

This is actually pretty cute. I count four baskets on the table, so that’s one for North and each of Kourtney’s kids. There’s nothing not adorable to me about little kids and Easter goodies. Plus, look at that smile!

If anyone wants to read more earnest-yet-sometimes-pithy reviews of church services, go to the Ship of Fools (the Magazine of Christian Unrest) and browse the Mystery Worshipper archive. Mystery Worshippers have the option of leaving their card on the collection plate. Services get marked on things including the…

I’m an atheist, and...you know some weird atheists!

I came here for easter service six years ago. it’s a big church with a past deeply rooted in [Redacted city] history. the sermon irritated me simply b/c it was religious and asked me to take a lot on faith (so i guess it was my problem with religion, not this church in particular)

Apsen Dakota sounds like an overprotected superhero whose power helps the needy roll over their 401ks.

Adults who treat Easter eggs hunts like a compitition are the fucking worst. Your special snowflake baby Apsen/Dakota isn’t going to be upset they don’t have the most eggs especially since their main hobby is shitting and drooling.

“Lesser Spices”? Bitch please.

“I was being two-timed for one of the lesser Spices?” she writes.

• Giuliana Rancic wants you to know that Jerry O’Connell cheated on her with Ginger Spice. [Page Six]