I just kinda wish Kris had named Rob, Krob, and insisted the K was silent. Just for the LOLS.

Of course this isn't a real story until some butthurt mra makes it about male oppression somehow.

Part of what makes his statement so sad is that it's pretty clear that he was using "slut" as a random synonym for "girl" or "woman." Her response gives me hope, though.

Imagine the aneurysm he'd have if he ever saw pumpernickel.

Who cares though? Even if she wasn't joking, I wasn't aware that celebrities' opinions had to receive widespread approval and acceptation. Who cares if an actress holds different views than I do on marriage?

It could have been worse, Andrew. The customer could have asked for some steamed hams, which as we all know, are an Albany culinary delight.

Jessica Biel "showing off" her baby bump - what a stupid way to describe a pregnant woman showing herself in public. What is she supposed to do with it? Take it off and put it in a drawer before she steps out?

I swear, this is Julianne Hough's recipe for the perfect pizza:

jezebel needs more ab fab gifs in general

...which California wines? Asking for a friend...

...because if someone gave me a choice between someone who gave me an ultimatum and someone who didn't give me an ultimatum, I would almost always pick the second person? P.S You do you though

There are a few things that I wish would happen in every high school sex ed class:

That's not how punctuation works. Give your space bar a break.

Oh relax. Do you need some burn ointment?

I love you, Gwenny, but I had head-to-toe PUPPS rash and my hip joints got so soft and spongy they would dislocate. I cried in delirium for the entire last week of my pregnancy, naked and covered in strapped-on ice packs.

I know when I'm over feeling guilty about something, the first thing I do is shop around a 900-word blog post about it.

GO AWAY.