I can relate to Kim, because one time I had dinner with my husband and his coworkers and they talked about insurance all night and I ended up in tears. My tears were a result of complete and utter boredom as opposed to feeling left out of the conversation, but you know potato potahto.

I can't in good conscience recommend this comment, because Papa John's is literally the worst pizza I have ever eaten, and that includes the two-month expired frozen pizza we bought at an Ocean City convenience store one time.

EXACTLY. They charge like $4 dollars extra for their "specialty" pizzas. For four bucks you can get a bottle and snort it if you feel like it.

Yeah but does your sriracha turn you tongue into...whatever is happening in that pic? I doubt it.

This is truly one of the most unAmerican thing I've ever heard. Get out.

I don't trust anyone with a coffee habit that they cannot replicate at home.

I can't wait until we can comment on all future BCOs solely with references to past entries. It will be glorious.

That's probably what I would have done, but 1) I have years of practice serving "peanut, no ear" and "thigh salad" to people like that, so I'm fluent in idiot, and 2) we're reading this from a comfortable distance, with plenty of time to reflect and without our jobs or personal safety on the line. It's hard to make…

The customer is always right! If they tell you to grill it until it's tender, you grill that shit until its fucking tender, asshole!

Monogrammed Thermosery

P.S. You really should take up eating meat again. Millions of people starve to death every day and would gladly trade places with you.

Obviously the steak fajitas had not been grilled enough. The longer you grill them, the more tender they become. Look it up.

But are you allergic to crunchy?

Monogrammed Thermosery

I want a goddamn coffee latte in a goddamn monogrammed thermos right now!!!! And God help you if there's any red in there because I'm allergic to red!

What the fuck, it's Monday again? HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!?!

Pineapple on pizza is basically like looking god in the face and saying "hey guy, here's an idea, fuck you"

I think this is fanfic from one of the dudes that were so sorry that they had abortions.

I'll tell you what nobody warned me about: All the goddamned laundry. We went from doing laundry maybe twice a week to doing it three or four times A DAY. (Granted, we had twins, but still.) Even having lived through it, I still do not understand how they generate so much laundry.