I could write this comment now or hours later and I think all I would have to write is:

What is your source on this being a product of "Minnesota dairy farmers"? The flagship farm for Fairlife milk is Fair Oaks Farms in Indiana. As a Minnesota dairy farmer myself, I'm a bit confused about why we are being brought into this...

I'm imagining a near future where Coke will all but give up on the industrialized world and focus their poison manufacturing on Africa and Asia. The same path cigarette manufacturers took.

I told my story last year, but the worst Thanksgiving was the one where my then-aunt baited my uncle into breaking down and admitting that he had been having an affair between sobs. With his children there to watch.

I think your dad ruined it, though...

I thought my thanksgiving dinner was going to suck. nobody wanted to celebrate so I had to eat alone. work went really late and my minister was being an idiot all day.

My well-meaning but socially inept (now ex) beau decided to rescue me from an orphan Thanksgiving by inviting me to come home with him. He neglected to mention a series of dealbreakers —(a) it was a dry house, (b) we would be dining only with his small, immediate family (sister and mom), and lastly, but most…

One Thanksgiving, my teeth were just starting to come in. I was miserable and crying. My material grandmother, a lovely and tiny woman from Ireland, decided the best thing for me was to rub whiskey on my gums. Unfortunately, she didn't realize my paternal grandfather, an ex-Navy Italian from Queens, was doing the same…

Oh for fuck's sake, Mormons.

I hate tomato juice so I've only ever had one bloody mary. yech.

I could see putting Siracha in a Bloody Mary, but hell no to beer.

Those Sirarcha Lays were disgusting because they didn't taste like Sirarcha.

Maybe I could hang up a sign. "No Fucking In My House While I'm Roasting Your Goddamn Turkey."

I know this might sound weird, but this story actually made me feel better about flying. Knowing that the plane remained safe and airworthy even after this event occurred shows just how robust these planes really are in the face of weird "black swan" events. And the fact that these events are so rare that Bombardier…

I heard a story recently from new married couple friends I have. One of the bridesmaids got just totally tanked their wedding night. The next day the room was basically turned upside down and the floor was covered in urine. Sheets in the shower for no reason, mini bar dumped, whole nine. They're still friends with…

Because the non-slang definition of the word is "female solo singer."

He doesn't look like a "goober" there. He looks '80s hot. This just makes me love him more.

Would.