Ignore all these people, Kim, and instead listen to this cautionary story about a girl named Lucky.

That room sounds haunted as fuck.

My friend Missy's parents found out that their house had a third bedroom. We are not sure of how it happened although we had fun speculating- but dad's elbow went through what they thought was just a wall. When they looked inside of the hole they noticed light, widened the hole and found that this had been a room at…

Everybody has their own stress. When I got rear ended two weeks ago, I didn't just shrug because there are starving kids in Africa. Your sanctimony is amusing though.

If you wear a beanie, you deserve to have someone wipe with it.

It reminds me of the time I allegedly pissed in the bidet while I was studying abroad.

When you say: "Young men have a huge potential to change the world and make it a better place for everyone..." you need to then finish the fucking thought and say HOW. Otherwise you're just a vapid idiot spouting empty slogans that are automatically read in Derek Zoolander voice. And I'd really like to continue…

Coke AND sushi.

It's the funniest thing that Kara Brown has a stable of haters who shake their fist in the air whenever she writes about racism.

Yeah, I was giving her super daps for that.

I'm one of those weirdos with zero social networking. I come here with my burner account and anonymously scream into the abyss.

"Some people can understand this, while others can't. You cannot explain this to feminists because they do not accept the concept of motherhood."

HEY EVERYBODY LOOK, A MAN IS SAYING IT SO YOU CAN BELIEVE IT NOW.

He's all of us

Oh, I totally thought 'Human Centipede.' I guess sometimes the heart just wants to be surgically attached to someone's asshole?

Who are these people in the background and what are they side-eying?

Interesting. My options are either keep your beard, or don't get mad when I actively discuss how much I miss the beard and want it back.

I have a beard (except I shaved it off for Movember, so currently I have an enormous moustache and beard stubble (it is coming back.)) I've worn it since I left the navy more than a decade ago.

Hey now, let's not bring Emmett Kelly into this, he's a legend and a goddamned hero.

he lost his hat!