Design meeting:

“What should the failure mode be for the wave generator?”
“Nothing, it should just die quietly and stop functioning.”
“We could do that. Or.. and hear me out on this one...”

Because what Trump voters think is funny is insulting women, immigrants, minorities, veterans, Gold Star parents, people with disabilities, LGBTQ, longtime international allies, etc. etc.

Frank went so far as to travel back in time and play Frank in loads of stuff in the 80's and 90's! 

Classic Rando!

Finally, a film that asks the question, “If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?”

You EXPECT something? Eat a bucket of fucks you shit eating dickhead!

“When he opens his mouth it’s a vacuous hole: There’s little room for a brain or anything else.”

I don’t see how Dany’s behavior implies she is “mad” in any way, shape, or form. Ned Stark executed a frightened deserter from the wall (arguably unfairly) who rightly warned against zombies! He could’ve just sent him back to the wall but no. Straight up cut his damn head off. Robb Stark executed the Karstarks after…

Hey, man, you gave it your best shot.

Please settle a debate: Is Back to the Future a sci-fi movie?

I’ve mounted a TV before

How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?

If you don’t want to watch repeated, looped, slow-motion replays of a small digit grazing a ball you shouldn’t have bought my sextape in the first place.

I just apologized to my wife for not looking like that when I turned 50 only for her to remind me that I didn’t look like that when we met and I was 27.

“You made these? You’re the oldest-looking Make A Wish kid I’ve ever seen.”

Chicken pot pies are not bullshit. Sure, if you spent $5 on a Marie Callender one that takes an hour to bake, la de dah mister moneybags, but the real trick here is to get the Banquet chicken pot pies, you know, the ones in the red box that are five for five bucks if not cheaper.

An older fella on the train the other day asked his friend if he was watching that new Kevin Costner show, “like Dallas but up in Montana or somewheres”.

At 40 feet, it was only 1.581 seconds of free fall. So really it was only around half as scary as you imagine it was.

Fun fact: “The Touching is, To Me, Off Limits,” was the original title of MC Hammer’s 1990 breakthrough single.