You know what? Unless there's visible dick, I don't give a fuck, Franco.

Toni Braxton's God is a dick.

Satan gives out the autism, dummy.

Not quite the same thing, but I recently stumbled upon* real actors reading yelp reviews. It is one of the most amazing things I've seen. Please enjoy.

This brings up a very, very important question: WHO THE FUCK HATES ANDY GARCIA? Of alllllll the celebrities in the world to nitpick and shit all over, this person picks Andy Freaking Garcia? I don't get it.

My mind is blown that ANYone can think Gary Oldman sucks. Gary Oldman RULES EVERYTHING. INCLUDING CELEBRITIES READING MEAN TWEETS.

This was much funnier than I expected. It makes me feel bad for Kit Harrington, though, because every person who has shared this has called him Jon Snow but named everyone else with their actual names. Poor Jon Snow. Forever an outsider.

Angry socialist is dragging her soapbox over to give you a high five!

Those things never seemed to work anyway. I burn my old skin off with acid thankyouverymuch.

I'm all for this. Anyone have any recommendations for exfoliating scrubs (specifically for the face) that won't kill all the fish or come back to me with a vengeance in my sushi?

I find Ms. Rai to be more attractive now that she has a little more curve. I guess that's just my thing.

Every time I see those exquisitely clean pure white dresses I instantly panic "YOU'RE GONNA SIT IN GUM!"*

unless your mother is a malignant narcissist

unless there's a busy highway running through your bedroom we'll let it slide just this once? :)

Dear Fellow Millenials,

Garbanzo, motherfuckers.

I think we could all use a hedgehog in an egg cup.

So this judge is a cunt? That's my ruling.

What in the fuckety fuck is this fucking fuckery! FUCK!

"Shooting Taint Pains" sounds dreadful, but is also totally my new country-punk band. Aunt Flo and the Shooting Taint Pains!