(He is a Blue Jay, which is a bird. Birds have white poop.)

This is a big reason why fielders should wear helmets, but I don't want to be accused of making a Stroman argument.

To be fair, no one actually watches the Bucs.

South Florida has won the toss and elected to play baseball

I would read a "Samer's Dad's Hot Sports Takes" series

Oh god, this comment - which clearly misses the entire point of the piece as self-parody - has 147 likes.

I'm a big fan of the quotation marks "your dad uses" !!!

See what I mean? Commenting going to shit. No mention at all of how far can I punt a football. F minus.

If Joan Rivers is dead, then who's this woman hiding behind these enormous glasses?

This is not the way I thought I would hear about Joan Rivers' passing.

[Bristol, CT.]

Everyone who calls him a murderer is just a cheap racist pushing the same presumption of guilt for this black man. He didnt hurt anybody, but I guess he should have been born white of he wanted the presumption of innocence. Silly Ray, rights are for whites!!

Once upon a season dreary,
while I pondered a weak secondary
And dreams of many quaint and curious playoffs of forgotten lore
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came thunder clapping,
As of reporters fap fap fapping, fapping at Ray of yore
What murder? Sell some jerseys! Bilk the fans! Forget the gore!

I think he was just scared that finger gun was real

Not to alarm everyone, but I DON'T THINK HE HAS THE EXPRESS WRITTEN CONSENT OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL.

Is there another type of Marmol?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.