No. Just no. She is the definition of pretentious. And waaay to good to hang out with the likes of you and me. Re-evaluate son.

He is the most miserable gay man I have ever seen. She is quite the cook even if her show is pretentious and annoying.

Alton Brown is where it's at.

Did anyone else read Dave's spelling of cooky just like the dog (I think?) saying "cookie" in the Cookie Crisp commercials?

"You know, it's so sad," Dora said to me, "She's so lonely because her friends are all dead and her children don't like her. She's a mean racist coot."

D'aww Captain Toad.

diglett you silly bitch HM02 is for flying pokemon

I don't have plans to have kids, but:

I was low risk pregnancy for my first two. One died 3 weeks before due date because of an umbilical cord accident. The second almost died from the same thing and was only saved with constant monitoring and immediate hospital intervention. This time around I'm considered high risk with all the hopes of a normal birth.…

3Spoopy5Me

I've seen those eyes before:

Ramsay Snow/Bolton approves of this image.

Apparently the bread dough guy's as well.

And that's how I learned how to give blowjobs.

That's an innovative way to get a yeast infection.

Your grandfather sounds like he's got some wicked stories.

My dad loves gnawing on bones. In fact, everyone gives him their bones or he just takes them from our plates when we're done. One day, he was gnawing away happily...and his front tooth chipped off. Thank goodness he got a good dental plan from his employer, and got it fixed. Did he learn his lesson though? …

Kraft from the box macaroni and only Heinz ketchup.

Omg I actually teared up laughing at this.

What the fuck is wrong with you