Depends on whether he quit before or after the convention. It wouldn’t be a huge deal if he quit before the convention, because there are procedures in place for the delegates to choose a new nominee during the convention. But if he quit after the convention? That could be a huge mess as there’s not much precedence…

LOLCARDS

Well, Obama is known as the “Deporter in Chief,” so I can see why he’d qualify in Mexico.

The answer to your questions are:

You tell me the day or the week, and I’ll wear the loud jackets. Christmas-party-issue blackwatch plaid dinner jacket, worn to the office on a spring day? You got it. Loud madras cotton with the brightest chinos I can find? Yup. Just name the day and I’ll be there. Because fuck cancer.

I quit drinking about a year ago and have found that my desire to be around more than a few people at a time in a social setting went out the door with the booze. If I find myself in any kind of party setting, I just smoke a bunch of weed and make friends with the dog. Drunk people are the worst.

Eh...I mean, Pablo claims he was never told to lose weight, while several Red Sox management folk say otherwise. That kind of lying is in disorder territory. And weren’t there rumors that Giants offered Pablo similar money to Red Sox—just with an eating clause triggered to incentives? Again, moving across country just…

Get a dog that needs to be walked twice a day. Then walk it twice a day, once involving a hill. Dogs need to be walked every day, rain or shine-unlike your will to go to the gym. Midweek, switch from beer to whisky. (sipping 2 ounces of good scotch takes the same amount of time as drinking 3 beers or 3/4's of a bottle…

I’m going through this right now, actually. I gave up alcohol starting on January 1 (for many reasons—chiefly out of my fear that I might be an alcoholic) and have since lost about 10 pounds. Considering I was already a pretty thin 170 lb, 6'1" male, I figure that’s a ton of weight to lose by simply cutting one thing…

... because panic makes more sense than educating yourself about your tap water? Right.

How about because they leak, they get in the way and they break easily?

That may not seem like a lot of money to you, but as Alissa Walker pointed out, the people who are most likely to need these are the people least likely to be able to afford them.

No, you don’t have to trust them. You can get your tap water tested and find out if they are telling the truth.

Pfft, like I’d stop drinking tap water.

There’s no way Lee Harvey Oswald acted or shot alone in JFK’s assassination.

I think maybe we’re a groundhog’s day situation. I’m going to grab a toaster and get in the tub to test out the theory.

I think maybe we’re a groundhog’s day situation. I’m going to grab a toaster and get in the tub to test out the theory.

Amazing how much money the Gov’t is giving away by capping the amount of income taxed for Social Security. He’s paid $7,347 into OASDI this year, and that’s all he’s going to pay. He’s already paid ~3 times that in Pittsburgh Professional Athlete Fees and it’s only two months into the season.