Cuntpunt is the Scottishest composite swearword I have heard since fucknuts (courtesy of my Dad)!

I definitely do this, and am unashamed. Since we had our little boy my sex drive has gone from medium high to pretty much non existent, and my husband has never, ever reproached me for this, but I know he misses the closeness and intimacy. As do I. So every so often, I, not he, initiate sex, and I usually end up…

Mix it with alcoholic ginger beer and it tastes like freaking Christmas!

I got the impression that she was massively taken out of context, the Australian sense of humour is very like the British, dry and self deprecating. Also, have loved that girl since she was in Neighbours, so I was already majorly on Team Margot!

My husband chose our first dance, we were dancing to it alone, in the centre of the hall, nearest and dearest looking on, gazing into one another’s eyes, when I recognised it....Afternoon Delight from Anchorman. I could not stop laughing for the rest of the song, I married the right man!

There’s like 20,000 of us so we have pretty much all the amenities we would have in a much bigger town, hospital, supermarkets, etc., but if there is a chance picked up during pregnancy that anything may go slightly wrong, like if the mother is over a certain weight, or in my case is picked up as having group b strep,…

So totally get this. I’ve not been quite as strict as you, there were two pictures of me pregnant that I allowed on Facebook, and in bubs’ ten months of life there have been four or five. I only posted a status about his birth because I had to go to a hospital on the mainland to have him (I live on an island 200 miles…

I would ‘prank’ him back, once I had given myself a dairy douche and could stand up again, by kicking him repeatedly in the bollocks. Cos I’m funny like that.

Totally, but through a small amount of experimentation I have discovered that my formerly iron live is now unable to keep me sober on like nearly any. Like half a half a glass of wine makes me tiddly. And the tiny tyrant WILL OT SLEEP without nummies. Roll on weaning time, when I can work on building up my tolerance…

Would fucking LOVE to, but I’m currently breastfeeding (like, as I write), which is a legitimate reason not to drink. However, I’m quietly fizzing, how many more ways are people going to come up with to impinge on women’s bodily autonomy? Like everything you do when you’re pregnant is already endangering your baby in…

Last time would have been 2014 p, the second half of the year I think? The boy likes it but I’m not a fan, am convinced that I’ll smother him with my giant flubbery thighs and backside, so have to be on the bottom, or that he will spot toilet roll stuck to my arsehole. Not sure which one would be worse.

I'm thinking the section of people answering a sex shop survey are less than representative of the population as a whole, and more likely to lie-brag about having sex everywhere, like I bet if there was a question about having sex on the dinner table during Christmas lunch there would be a percentage who ticked yes.

I just showed this to my husband, who has had to leave the room to avoid waking our four month old. The snorty wheezes he was making trying not to laugh were incredible, o really shouldn't have shown him it with no warning. Twice.

Love love LOVE your screen name <3

Damnit! I thought this was a gif (no sleep last night, new baby) tapped it, and bloody nickel back started playing, so I panicked, closed the window, and spent twenty minutes trying to find it again. Then realised that I could just type sodding averil into the url bar as I have certainly never opened a window with her…

Now there is someone who is too sweet to play Bond!

I feel like two days after my due date waiting around to have my first child may not have been the optimum time to read this. But good to know things can be done (thirtystitchesjesusCHRIST) and kudos on your new vajajay.

I'm in the greys, somehow missed bco last week, and so do not expect anyone to even see this comment. But as someone who comes from there, I am calling bullshit on anyone from Shetland calling it the Shetlands. Because that is not what it is called, and it really pisses us off! They weren't on holiday in the Scotlands…

Wait...this wasn’t a thing already? I am now feeling a bit alarmed that I might have shared a plane journey with a “hunting trophy”. This is, I recognise, an oddly selfish reaction, but if asked I would have been sure that commercial airlines would have done this years ago, and when I'm shocked I get embarrassingly…

I find it astonishing that people like this really exist, in real life, and not just on the internet hidden behind anonymous screen names. Like he wasn’t even vaguely chagrined.