The thing about Phantom Menace is it shows what Lucas does without anyone to rein him in…weird racist stereotypes! A fifteen minute pod racing scene that just cone off as boring! A romance that appears to be between a teenager and an eight year old! Making some of the most interesting actors of that time come off as…

So you’re saying movie companies are in it for the money? WHAAAAAT

Remember, kids - superhero movies aren’t REAL CINEMA but a ninety second cologne ad that looks like it was made by a music video director from the nineties sure is.

I think we can all agree a version of Hollywood Squares with Gilbert occupying all nine squares would have been the pinnacle of human civilization

While I’m sure someone is going to say “duh Jerry is the straight man LOL” - even the straight man gets a good joke in once in a while. Meanwhile Seinfeld was kind of the textbook definition of a trite stand up comedian (“what’s the DEAL with airline food?”) even when his show was huge.

It doesn’t hurt that Mindy Kaling is one of those stars that seems to get to do whatever passion project she wants whether anyone else likes it or not.

There’s this very weird sub-sub-genre of comedy that proudly states “everyone that enjoys this sucks, and that includes you.” that I don’t really get but maybe that’s proof I’m not a masochist.

She’ll never reach her career high of starring in tampon commercials 

He already has, almost like he knew this movie sucked before its release.

Anybody that walked out of Bee Movie and didn’t realize Jerry wasn’t exactly doing the heavy lifting on Seinfeld gets another chance

“I know I’ve watched them recycle the exact same plot over almost ten years of television, but I’d sure watch it some more!”

It was one of those classic “why the hell is this attractive, successful woman with this spoiled manchild” sitcoms that were so popular in the nineties.

“Following a years-long controversy that’s currently awaiting litigation against Disney…”

Right? SO UNFAIR that a movie star can’t just choose to stop working half the year.

“Even movie stars have to take shitty jobs to pay the bills every now and again.”

That sounds like a lot of manic rambling while the film crew wished he would get tired so they could break for lunch.

The idea that there are network executives earning a shitload of money to say things like “people will definitely sign up for Paramount+ when we cancel Star Trek shows and do more Frasier, the kids definitely want more of Kelsey Grammer” boggles my mind.

The inevitable takeaway from reboots is “you’re not going to get ten seasons out of a reboot because do people really want seasons twelve through twenty of Frasier?”

It’s a throwback to the times when pretty much any sitcom could get ten easy seasons as long as it’s not actively terrible. “Man, they really need to bring back Frasier” is not a sentence I’ve ever heard in the real world but I imagine reboots are a slam dunk as far as Hollywood is concerned because it requires a…

It’s weird that everyone throws Abrams more projects when his attitude always seems to be “fuck if I know, someone will figure out the details later”