Literally every song Republicans like to use (except for “God bless the USA” I guess) are literally the opposite of what they think they’re about.

If Herman Cain or Kimberly Guilfoyle dies of this that’s sure gonna show me!

They’re sure gonna teach us liberals a thing or two when they die of a virus that could have been dramatically slowed down if people inconvenienced themselves a tiny bit.

You’ve gotta admit, for having died six years ago, he’s looking pretty great.

TIL that Vanilla Ice is FIFTY THREE 

Cain has since announced that he is receiving treatment for coronavirus but cannot hazard a guess as to where that covid-19 might have come from because he’s been traveling a lot lately in places where cases are spiking.

Yeah, I read that. As I am not King Of Taxes, I can’t make that happen so I’ll just keep doing what I am doing now.

Congratulations Nashville, you beat the virus!

Um, okay? As just a regular person, I’m not exactly sure what you’re proposing as an alternative.

using Donald Trump like shenanigans

People always like to say “my accountant saved me five thousand dollars!” but can never actually explain how. I don’t have a business, rental property, a home office or any of the usual dubious shit people use for stuff like this.

Like most Jez writers, Ashley appears to have confused politics with the movies where a scrappy underdog will win in the end because they believe hard enough.

It would be an absolute shame if the entire Trump family died painfully from the Coronavirus. Really, an absolute shame.

There was all the Obama — there’s a riot, and he has a beer at the White House with some criminal, to listen to him. Wasn’t having a beer with the police officers. So we said, “We’re on your side. We’ve got your back, you got our thanks”

She took the ability to do like two characters on SNL and turned it into a major Hollywood career.

President Deals strikes again!

As much as I’d love to see the Republicans thrown into complete disarray weeks before the election, I can’t imagine Trump being okay with being known as a quitter.

Not dissimilar to the idea of COVID-19 being both an overblown hoax and the product of Chinese biological warfare run amok

Republicans in general don’t give a shit about the troops except as a symbol or a reason to give money to their pals.

None of his followers are going to believe this, even if there’s irrefutable evidence. Fake News!