Also, I believe Job was right-handed.

I’m like half-ready

Remember that early flash-forward episode where Milhouse just got yoked? (“Sorry I’m late Lisa, I was at the gym totally gunning my lats, just gunning them!”).

Maybe they’re just fans of 3-cornered hats.

I get it. The last time I had to watch footage of myself in public I tried to walk away too, but the bailiff stopped me.

“He repeatedly uses the word “you” (“you just understand the media”) to emphasize that he’s talking about himself. Then he switches back to first-person to emphasize that he’s talking about himself (“I don’t know, for me anyway”). The statement that Outrage Twitter forced him to send out (“I was really speaking from…

I mean, people kinda like the car. 

My favorite part of the onside kick clip above are the refs who jump in and join the pile. I love when they do that. I think number 120 there thinks he’s kinda badass but really he’s just crowdsurfing along for the ride. 

I assume their word of the year for 1995 was chazzwazzer?

That’s the worst case of the Mondays that I’ve ever seen!

Let’s get the Supreme Court on this. There’s well established precedent set in the landmark Smelt It v. Dealt It

I wonder if Meatloaf gets asked to do Fight Club bits?

French vanilla was right there. It was right there!

Rusty Shackleford.

When the punter really shanks it bad, and the Line Judge just keeps walking and walking and everyone is just watching him nervously and wondering if he’s EVER going to stop, I like to imagine the Cliff Hanger theme song from TPIR playing in my head.

I also like how the graphic indicates that the ball has clearly taken 2 distinct paths before merging into 1 football shortly before hitting the lion’s ass. More of the quantum football effects exhibited in this column, I suppose.

I’m supposed to believe there are people who don’t know where Rocky River is? C’mon. 

I believe scrota is the preferred plural. By me anyway.

I wonder what kind of landscaping they went with.

“We are hopeful that Cokie now goes to join her parents, former Members of Congress Hale and Lindy Boggs, her siblings Barbara, Tom and William, who predecease her, and her God.”