Nope.

If my parents die with $10 million, I’ll pay almost $2.5 million in estate taxes. That’s a lot of money, honey.

Do they come with 2 mysterious extra pieces that seem to be essential, but fit nowhere?

GAWD I want a copper fondue set

Well it starts when your period is latte...

Childcare!? In my day they just dropped you off at the bootstrap factory where you work your way up from the bottom. Coddling these children will not turn them into to the sociopathic corporate elites this country needs.

My sides reached orbit at “first generation Fat-Lesbian”. I only hope that one day, I too will be able to find someone who will stare down assholes while I dance to songs from the 70s.

UH OH IT COMES IN TURQUOISE. DANGER DANGER.

That’s me in a nutshell. I can’t handle camping. I’m not handling an apocalypse situation.

However nutty prepping for doomsday is, at least he cares.

At least they’re looking out for their employees?

This is also on her list, I know I am not the only one thinking it....

That is the most disgusting thing I’ve seen today. I can’t even get down with “you do you” on this one. Wearing someone’s body parts....nope nope nope nope nope nope.

So this article is a little confusing. After reading the AL.com report, it sounds like they weren’t saying she wasn’t “qualified,” just that she wasn’t “certified” to teach 5th Grade. In this case, that’s apparently true, since her certification covered her through 3rd Grade. If Federal requirements for funding are…

Okay, guys. Not cool. CLEARLY the “Do you know who the fuck I am” guy had amnesia, and genuinely needed the help. Maybe he’s a secret double-agent from the Mars rebellion. Or maybe he’s just from a soap opera. But either way, that was clearly a cry for help, which would have led to a cool ‘80s sci-fi action movie.

Oof I need to go back to bed, I read that comment as being about those who ATE their second child.

I’ve been having to defend Kim and the other Kardashians lately, and it makes me feel all weird. Though mostly it has been asking people “Why do you hate them?” and then getting annoyed at the people that say “I just do”. It turns out very few people have an actual reason they hate them, they just do because it is the…

The one who performed her hymen reconstruction surgery, that’s who.

Think for a second how crazy you would be if money were truly no object? Like you had an infinite supply of money. Every birthday you would spend flying all your guests to some remote Caribbean island and trying to recreate the first Jurassic Park movie, right down to having party guests try and merge Dino DNA with a…

im saying yes just because my dislike of colored diamonds knows no bounds