I am an only child but I like to believe that my true calling in life was to be the drunk aunt

I feel like Jesus as a political candidate is religiously tolerant enough that he wouldn’t turn all of the worlds water supply into wine, especially as we need water to actually live, the free wine would be for those who specifically want to imbibe, and for those who didn’t that’s cool too, I mean according to his…

Bobby you are on to something fucking brilliant with aunt. I just have a question, would that make being a “Drunk aunt” a negative as well? Cause I have to say I feel like drunk aunts are their own category of amazing that doesn’t intersect with aunt Taylor who takes the fun out of everything while we are forced to…

I would vote for a candidate whose main platform was free wine, in a second

I deserve that

proof I am the worst

So I haven’t been on here nearly as long as you (but I have no life so this is all I do) but I have a small idea of how it works because I have spent way too long analyzing it. SO people who are already “in the black” can star/respond to your comments to get them out of the grey, after that if you end up a comment…

Smash Mouth gets very offended at that (they wrote this weird tweet about it a while ago... its somewhere on gawker but I’m lazy) seems they were famous before that, and yet all we remember them as is the Shrek band so really they still lose.

I am not a lawyer but I know we have some Jezzies who are so I am ungreying you in hopes one will see it and be able to answer. Good luck!

They are honestly probably getting a subsidized income from the government, which allows them to have the time to do this since they aren’t working. The hypocrisy is honestly amazing, I have met people with subsidized healthcare and food stamps who decry socialism at the same time they argue that they deserve all that…

It counts as the most terrifying of yesterdays for sure.

Is the success rate judged by if they last the season or a year or for their lifetime? Is there a bonus for who can stay married the longest?

The Daily Mail has got a reach like Stretch Armstrong

I hope the case they build is airtight and every correspondent that leapt to defend him is examined just as much.

Trumps primary voting base comes from the states with the lowest adult literacy rate in the country, I honestly don’t think he expects them to read any of the write ups or think pieces on his speeches. I mean look at the way he speaks, it's like listening to a second grader with too much candy

I am on the fence about this because on one hand it does fit the "troll the media" narrative that the tape itself talks about, but on the other hand all of them have fans that Stan HARD, so trolling them is almost cruel because there are tons of young fans going to bat for these people and they are essentially…

I would like to thank my agent, God, my loving parents, the kinja Academy and Melenia Trump for this award, without the support of the little people I would never have gotten this far. May your words always be great and your walls reach ever higher.

UM excuse you she wrote all those songs herself and they are the best songs filled with the best words that no one else has ever sung in the history of the world.

You have no idea how worried I was that I would be too slow to grab that low hanging fruit. It was like my own personal "first" moment

Does that mean Melenia Trumps airs this Thursday?